The Bow and Grimace: Exploring the Human Side of a Globalized World

2006-12-14T07:52:00.000+01:00

Some buddies of mine and I are starting this new project, called the Unsettled. It's kicking off little by little, but hopefully, in the coming weeks and months, it will be in full swing.

new blog

2006-09-17T17:44:00.000+02:00

This blog has moved to The Only Redhead in Taiwan.

The etymology/hermeneutics of "Decider"

2006-05-04T11:58:00.000+02:00

Just thought we'd give a little background on what many people are saying is a word coined by ole' G. W. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word decider was actually used for the first time in 1592 by W. Wyrley in Armorie 23: "The Scriptures of God, the decider of all contreuersies" (No typo, this is before grammar rules clearly defined the difference between u and v). The most recent of the measely three historical citations noted is Wilberforce's 1862 use of the word in the phrase: "The...danger of having...the Irish bishops made the actual deciders of our doctrine."

So, in poor George's defense, the word exists. The definition is "one who or that decides (a contreversy, question, etc.)." The root is obviously from the root "Decide" which comes from the Latin dcdre, meaning to "cut off, to cut the knot, decide, determine."

Vive la France, and Blogger....

2006-04-24T21:33:00.000+02:00

Thanks to impeccable service of Neuf Telcom, the internet company that take three weeks to set up reliable internet service, and to the spam protection of Blogger that erased The Bow and Grimace fearing it was spam (we wish we received spam as thought-provoking and engaging as The B&G!), we have been on forced hiatus. We missed out on the whole French CPE debate!

We will be back as soon as possible with more on the wonderful world of…..whatever it is we’re getting at here.

These infidels eat their damnation for breakfast, and other ruminations on the French economy.

2006-03-03T15:30:00.000+01:00

"Why spend more [on your damnation]?" asks this
godless French ad in the Paris metro.

Anyone who has been to Paris and had the chance to be whisked hither and thither on the luxurious Paris metro -- it's bouquet, a mix of fresh urine and machine fumes -- has also noticed the adds (like the one to the right) pasted partout. You also know that any publicité within reach is either torn down or written upon, saying things about how advertisements steal your soul and objectify women or about how capitalisme anglo-saxon would destroy la Republique (along with various slurs directed at ole Sarko).

If there is one thing that French people seem to agree on, it's that (American) capitalism -- which is synonymous with greed, abuse, sweatshops, child-labor, closed factories, loss of jobs, desperation, McDonald's, and Britney Spears -- is not for them. That's fine. We at the B&G even have our serious misgivings about certain business practices around the world, but we place the blame squarely on the people who buy the products (French included).

We should pause for a moment and mention that we aren't expressing a sort of blanket disdain for everything French. We love France (more the smaller cities than Paris), and we love the culture. The French idea of working to be able to live comfortably, rather than working to get rich, is admirable. We think that's the way it should be.

However, we also think, to some extent, that the French need to face reality. You can't fight globalization when the world is already globalized. This, of course, is a reference to the government's recent moves to block "hostile" takeovers of French companies like Danone, Arcelor, and Suez. We've mentioned this before, the French idea of "patriotisme économique," and there was a wonderful article recently in the Washington Post warning Americans from falling into the same trap with the Dubai ports deal:

But what's really embarrassing about Cargogate is that it shows Americans acting just like the French.
I'm talking, of course about "economic patriotism," the charming phrase coined by France's poetic prime minister, Dominique de Villepin, for what is nothing more than pig-headed protectionism.
Under the banner of economic patriotism, de Villepin rescued Danone, maker of healthy yogurt and bottler of pure waters of Evian, from the clutches of PepsiCo, a purveyor of American junk food.
He recently designated 11 sectors of the French economy, including casinos, that are so sensitive that, heretofore, they will never be allowed to fall into the hands of the Dutch, the Germans or, heaven forbid, the Brits.
His government has made clear that it will never allow Mittal Steel -- a "non-European" company registered in Rotterdam and run out of London by an Indian native, with operations spread across four continents -- to go forward with its hostile takeover of its Paris-based rival, Arcelor.
And last weekend, de Villepin personally arranged the shotgun wedding of Gaz de France, the state-controlled gas supplier, and Suez, the French water and power supplier, to thwart a bid for Suez by Enel, a rich and attractive Italian suitor. So obvious was the patriotic intent that the boards of the two companies approved the deal on Saturday even before the price had been worked out.

Here's the hypocritical part:

What's so galling about all this is that, when it comes to cross-border mergers and acquisitions, French firms have been among the most aggressive, reflecting the widespread view among their executives that they can make better return on their investment in countries with lower taxes, more flexible labor laws and less government involvement in the economy. As the Economist magazine points out this week, only 43 percent of the jobs at companies on France's CAC -- the nation's index of publicly traded blue chips -- are actually in France.

This is a lesson for Americans and French alike about globalization. Companies, essentially, are no longer based in any country. Just look at the "Dubai" company, their cheif operating officer is AMERICAN Ted Bilkey. One could just as easily use the example of Mittal Steel mentioned above, as well as a hundred others.

The risk of not understand this is simple:

It is unclear whether the European Union has the power, or the will, to challenge the resurgence of economic nationalism that now threatens economic integration. But, in any case, it is hardly a model for the United States to follow -- whether under the guise of protecting the country against terrorists or protecting American companies and American jobs.
Instead, the future of the U.S. economy lies with tapping into rapidly growing economies of Asia and parts of Latin America, where there is acceptance, if not excitement, around the process of globalization, and deeper relationships with Britain, Canada, Australia and South Africa, which already embrace market capitalism. President Bush's trip to India this week is a milestone in that shift of economic focus and opportunity. Getting past Cargogate would certainly be another.

But, that's not the end of it, Frenchies. The recent protests from students all around France against the CPE (Contrat première embauche, roughly "First Job Contract") which, from what we understand, makes it easier to fire new employees. Anyone coming from an "Anglo-saxon" background may find it hard to believe how hard it is to get fired in France, but thereafter they wouldn't be shocked to find out how the quality of work and the money wasted on non-work are worsened as a result. According to the World Bank's Doing Business in 2004 :

Excessive regulation is associated with higher unemployment,30 especially for youths and women (figure 3.6). Cross-country analyses suggest that if France were to make its labor regulations as flexible as those in the United States, the employment rate might increase by up to 1.6 percentage points.

Not bad when your unemployment -- especially of youths, the one's protesting -- just increased again this month, ending a steady decline.

The French economic approach just seems completely backwards and juvenile to us. Then again, we're not economists. It just seems that every move made is either counterproductive or blind (like trying to defy globalization).

To close, we'd like to point out something that seems to be a pretty clear indicator of what happens when a country's population don't have much incentive to exceed expectations. We read it in Le Monde (our translation):

France's biggest economic powerhouses never change. The 25 biggest French companies have been around since before 1960, while one can say the same for only six in the US. France has no Microsoft, Google, Amazon.

Is the point made?

We're not against the 35 hour work-week, nor do we think five weeks vacation is bad. We just think that when the people are working, they need to have incentives (both punishments and rewards) to be effective. If not, you have a sluggish work force with no real drive to innovate.

Again, though, we're not economists, and we're not French.

Technorati tags: France, CPE, Dubai, patriotism, economics, globalization, capitalism

Two Degrees of Seperation: Bush and Bin Laden

2006-03-01T19:41:00.000+01:00

"Ex-Taliban Spokesman Now a Yale Student"

A former spokesman for the Taliban, Rahmatullah Hashemi, has enrolled as a student at America’s prestigious Yale University where he has taken a class on terrorism, The New York Times Magazine reported on Sunday.

The ex-Taliban spin doctor and “roving ambassador”, who has spent time in the presence of Al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden, is now a Yale freshman improving his English through a special non-degree programme.

Hashemi, who once publicly defended the Taliban, told the magazine, however, that he started having serious doubts about its harsh moral codes as early as 1998 when women were being lashed with leather strips and executions were occurring in Kabul’s football stadium....

Technorati tags: Taliban, Yale, Bush, Afghanistan

ports, liars, and hacks

2006-02-25T14:36:00.000+01:00

Again, Crooksandliars, Onegoodmove, why aren't you showing any of this? If it's just because you've already jumped the gun and shown that you're just generally against anything that Bush does, because he does it, then you've shown that your hacks.

Sorry. We read your sites every day, and we appreciate what you do, but you're doing no service to your country or to the world if you proceed like this.

So, do you care more about Bush being out of office or about doing what's in the best interests of the world? If it's the latter, you should be ready and willing to support the president in what he does right. If that's not the case, "wingnuts" are never going to try to reach out to the left because they'll start with the assumption that the left will automatically be against them on principle.

"Why Dubai is Good for US business," Christian Science Monitor:

True, the United Arab Emirates - where Dubai stands out as a modern city-state on par with Singapore and Monaco - was home to the man, Marwan al Shehhi, who piloted United Airlines Flight 175 into the second World Trade Center tower. But our key frontline ally in fighting terror today, Pakistan, was home to a lot worse. True, bad banking went on in the UAE, some of which funneled money to the 9/11 hijackers, but money laundering is not unique to Arab countries. True, Dubai was the distribution hub of rogue Pakistani scientist A.Q. Khan's nuclear black market. But truer still is the cooperation Dubai's intelligence officials gave the US in helping unravel Dr. Khan's network.

...Dubai's business environment is the Middle East's only meritocracy. Young men and women compete openly with ideas and ambitions to make their nation a model example for Muslim societies besieged by high unemployment, low literacy rates, bad trade policies, and authoritarian political structures. They run businesses transparently, with integrity and with an increasingly democratic and accountable corporate culture.

...It is hypocritical for America to want democracy in the Middle East, to champion capitalism as the best economic framework while pushing for reform, transparency, and anticorruption practices in its businesses, and then turn protectionist when a Dubai-owned company turns up on our shores having played the capitalist takeover game responsibly and transparently.

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism, Crooksandliars, Onegoodmove

Terrorism, Port, Allah, Terrorism, Globalization....

2006-02-25T13:30:00.000+01:00

From the liberal economist Andrew Leonard's How the World Works at Salon.com. Why is it that so many liberals are writing in support of Bush, yet Crooksandliars and Onegoodmove have posted any of them? Just as hippocritical as they say all "wingnuts" are)...

"Terminal Folly":

The ties of the Bush family to Dubai elites are also well known -- the infamous Carlyle Group does business in Dubai and Bush's brother Neil has been known to frequent the tiny emirate. The jump from these circumstantial pieces of evidence to the assumption that Bush approved the purchase of P&O as a giveback to his cronies is easy to make -- and in the current political climate, quite unavoidable. As many have noted, when you cry wolf about terrorism as much as Bush does, sooner or later the wolf turns around and bites you on the ass.
But the whole uproar is also kind of dumb. There's no evidence anywhere, yet, that George W. Bush, his brother or Carlyle had anything to do with the purchase of P&O by Dubai Ports World. The simple reality is that with oil prices sky-high, Dubai is flush with cash, and thus the state-owned DP World could outbid the Singapore state-owned PSA. No conspiracy necessary here. You could even make the argument that having a Dubai company run logistics at those terminals would make them safer. If you were a terrorist trying to sneak an atomic bomb into New Jersey, would you choose to do so on a container set to be unloaded at a Dubai-run terminal, where scrutiny would most likely be highest? Or would you look for the Singaporean or Korean or Japanese terminal, where no one was paying attention?

Port security, as has been noted repeatedly in press coverage, is the responsibility of the U.S. Coast Guard and customs officials. One can quite reasonably argue that President Bush could have made a much bigger difference in keeping the U.S. safe if he had authorized the spending of a mere fraction of the funds that have gone to pay for the war on Iraq on bulking up container inspections. But how does it help anyone's security to deny a company that is playing by the same rules as everyone elsl the same opportunities as everyone else? If anything, it will only further inflame the sentiments of Arabs who see the U.S. as inimically opposed to all things Middle Eastern. And just as with the case of China's CNOOC oil company's attempt to buy Unocal, the political opposition sends a clear message to the rest of the world. It's OK for American corporations to traipse across the globe buying up everything they want, but don't you foreigners even dare to give us a taste of our own medicine.

In the long run, that kind of attitude is not going to bolster American security. It's just going to make the rest of the world even more angry at us than it already is.

"Democrats Ruining America's Future" (We remind you, this guy is a liberal, writing for a liberal media organization!):

In my e-mail this morning, an alert from an outfit calling itself Democrats for America's Future, claiming in screaming capital letters that "BUSH LEAVES PORTS OPEN TO ATTACK." "The White House is scheming to outsource management of America's six largest ports -- including two that account for 40 percent of the cargo needed for the war in Iraq. And to which foreigners is President Bush so eager to turn over control of our biggest and most security-sensitive ports? ... Why, the United Arab Emirates, of course!"

Wow -- what a bonanza: transparently stupid and racist to boot! With Democrats like these, who needs terrorists bent on destroying the American way of life? We're more than capable of undermining everything we supposedly stand for, right here at home.

...The [Dubai Ports] deal, according to analysts, is largely motivated by Dubai Ports World's desire to get a larger piece of booming Asian trade...

...Nearly all American ports are already operated by foreign companies, Dubai Ports World has a sterling reputation around the world, and it just happens to be run by a senior staff that includes a bunch of, guess what, Americans.

But heck, sure, security at U.S. ports is an issue, and we could probably could do a lot more to oversee them effectively. But that's a completely separate argument from the blatant fear-mongering, racist-baiting and flat-out misinformation that Democrats for America's Future is committing.

First, George W. Bush is not "scheming" to outsource anything. Operation of these ports was already in foreign hands, and the purchase of a British company by a United Arab Emirates company is hardly a result of malign White House maneuvers. Meanwhile, as Time magazine notes, the International Longshoremen's Association workers who currently offload ships at the U.S. ports will continue to do so, regardless of who has the contracts to run the ports.

But much worse, the spectacle of Democrats joining in a chorus that attempts to paint Bush as weak on security because, horror of horrors, he isn't stopping an Arab-owned company from operating ports in the U.S. is pathetic and embarrassing... Engagement of this kind with moderate Arab countries is exactly what this world needs more of. Instead, in their attempt to score political points against Bush, these bozos are telling all Arabs everywhere that we don't trust you and will treat you as the ultimate boogeyman.

Despite all that, people like Lou Dobbs (again, whom we generally agree with, but whom many also say wrote the book on protectionism) is furthering this drivel about Bush's connections. We are not denying people in the Bush Administration have some very questionable connections, but we have no reason to believe that any of this mess is a part of it.

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism, Crooksandliars, Onegoodmove

Port, Port, Port, Terrorism, Port, Allah, Port...SHUT UP!

2006-02-25T12:32:00.000+01:00

"Ports deal defended on Hill; UAE firm says it will wait," Washington Times:

"The reaction in the United States has occurred in no other country in the world," said Ted Bilkey [does that sound like an Arab name?], chief operating officer of Dubai Ports World (DPW). "We need to understand the concerns of the people in the U.S. who are worried about this transaction and make sure that they are addressed to the benefit of all parties. Security is everybody's business."
..."The track record of this administration on homeland security -- its inadequate funding, its bureaucratic dysfunction at the Department of Homeland Security, as evidenced most tragically in [Hurricane] Katrina ... does not create an atmosphere of confidence when looking at this particular matter," said Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, New York Democrat. [She's right, though she's wrong to think this has anything to do with it]

..."The Dubai deal outsources our ports to the state-owned entity of a foreign government," he said. "This deal turns back on the free-market principles that have guided this nation into economic prosperity." [It's been a long time since American ports were run by American companies, listen to the NPR stories]

...DPW's pending $6.8 billion purchase of London-based Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co., which operates port terminals in New York, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami, Philadelphia and Newark, N.J., is due to close Thursday. [the most overlooked part of this issue is that fact that the company doesn't RUN the PORTS, it RENTS TERMINALS in the ports]

"Fight Over Ports Clouds Efforts to Open Middle East Markets" LA Times:

Unless America takes steps to address the growing tensions between open economic borders and national security, trade experts predict that there will be more of these conflicts, given the emergence of new players from the Middle East and China and the growing internationalization of the U.S. economy. And that could be dangerous for a country that needs roughly $4 billion a day in foreign capital to cover its budget and trade deficits.

...Foreigners already control a large share of the U.S. port business, including seven of the eight container terminals at the Port of Los Angeles.

"There is nothing inherently dangerous about doing business with Arab countries, any more than with Chinese and Brazilian countries," said Moore, with USC's Center for Risk and Economic Analysis of Terrorism Events. "We cannot allow our reactions to extremists to dictate our business choices."

...U.S. Trade Representative Rob Portman warned Wednesday that "canceling this port deal would be contrary" to the U.S. belief that fighting terrorism means promoting policies that create "opportunities for people to improve their lives and the lives of their families." [is this the Twilight Zone? We agree with almost everything the Bush Administration is saying!]

"Ports Debate Reawakens Foreign Investment Jitters" Washington Post:

"The implication of failing to approve this would be to tell the world that investments in the United States from certain parts of the world aren't welcome," Treasury Secretary John W. Snow told reporters yesterday. His words echoed those of President Bush, who noted Tuesday that the terminals in question are currently operated by a British firm and that the UAE has been Washington's partner in the war on terror. "It would send a terrible signal to friends and allies not to let this transaction go through," the president said.
The potential for diplomatic damage concerns some foreign-policy heavyweights, notably Sen. John W. Warner (R-Va.), who said in an interview that "if the United Arab Emirates feels they're not being treated fairly, it could result in their pulling back some of the support they've given us," which includes allowing U.S. naval vessels to dock in the country's ports.
...Todd M. Malan, president of the Organization for International Investment, agreed, calling the reaction to the ports takeover "an anomaly of Congress's view about foreign investment in the United States." Malan, whose group represents the U.S. subsidiaries of foreign multinationals, observed that Toshiba Corp. of Japan is on the verge of buying Westinghouse Electric Co., a builder of nuclear power plants -- "and there hasn't been a peep about that."
...Officials involved in the review countered that the Homeland Security Department took the lead on the review of the ports takeover because of its expertise and jurisdiction. The officials said in a briefing that the department's security experts had a positive view of Dubai Ports World because the company participates in a U.S. program to screen containers before they are put on U.S.-bound ships. Moreover, they knew that at terminals managed by the firm, vital security functions would continue to be performed by Customs and Border Protection employees and the Coast Guard and that longshoremen's unions would continue to supply other security personnel.
But asked whether the panel could have handled the issue better, Stewart A. Baker, the assistant secretary for policy at the Homeland Security Department, said: "Obviously, given all the firestorm on this one, I would think that we probably could have."

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism

Why ending the debate over something insignificant is significant.

2006-02-23T17:14:00.000+01:00

The reason we write so adamantly about the port issue is that it could cause serious problems with foreign investors. We do not want to become France. This is not time to start talking about "patriotisme économique."

Protectionism is not in anyone's interests. We're not talking about free trade at all costs. We're talking about fair trade, especially with Arab countries who are a problem essentially because they are not a part of international trading webs:

Obviously, Iraq, Syria, south Lebannon, North Korea, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Iran are not part of any major global supply chains, all of them remain hot spots that could explode at any time and slow or reverse the flattening of the world.

Says Mr. Friedman. As we've said before, Arab nations need to be pulled into this system, and out of the oil driven, dictatorial, closed societies. Read the best of liberal economists -- Stiglitz, Sachs, Sen -- and you'd probably find the same answer.

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism

More on this tomfoolery: The UAE government has nothing to do with the Dubai Ports

2006-02-23T16:35:00.000+01:00

Just more reasons why this hoopla about the ports is a plain dumb story:

Strife deepens over port security, Alexandra Marks, Christian Science Monitor

Companies like P&O don't provide security at the ports. The US Coast Guard and Homeland Security's Immigration and Customs Enforcement do. For instance, in New Orleans, P&O is one of eight terminal operators responsible for marketing the port, signing agreements with shipping lines, hiring labor, loading ships, and moving cargo.

But P&O has no responsibility for security. "We have our own police force, harbor patrol, customs officers, and Coast Guard," says Chris Bonura, spokesman for the Port of New Orleans. "That won't change no matter who is operating the terminal."

P&O is not commenting on the political uproar over the deal. But a source within the company worries that the media and politicians are misrepresenting the arrangements. Other who work within the port communities agree. They note that P&O will not be "managing" the ports, as many news organizations have reported. Instead, the company is one of many that leases terminals at the port.

"I've never quite seen a story so distorted so quickly," says Esther de Ipolyi, a public-relations executive who works with the port of Houston. "It's like I go to an apartment building that has 50 apartments, and I rent an apartment. This does not mean I took over the management of the whole building."

What's the real problem with ports?

Security is a top priority at the ports, but there's concern the Bush administration has not provided enough funds to properly pay for it. Earlier this month, the president of the American Association of Port Authorities complained that the $708 million allotted for maritime security over the past four years amounted to only one-fifth of what the port authorities had identified as needed to properly secure the ports.

Here's an interesting discussion on why, aside from questions about the Dubai government, essentially, on why this isn't a big deal.

As concerns the Dubai government and their connection to Osama Bin Lizzle, one of the company's representatives says that the Dubai government doesn't take any part in the running of Dubai Ports. On top of that, the ports in Dubai are considered some of the best ports in the world, so maybe it would be better if they would have a part in the six ports now in focus in the US.

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism

Videos about this ridiculous port hoopla...

2006-02-23T12:44:00.001+01:00

Here is a taste of some of the videos we've found on the subject of what Lou Dobbs called a "clear clut national security issue."

We've already provided articles.

Tell us why this is a big deal. Because Dubia has ties to terrorists? It's also one of the US's only Middle Eastern allies. Because it's a foreign country? Almost no ports in the US are managed by domestic companies. Because it's a security issue? The port managing companies don't change security, which is managed by the coast guard and customs.

This just seems absurd.

Enjoy:

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism

Badly Punned: Please protest something imPORTant....

2006-02-23T11:15:00.000+01:00

America: the ADHD nation

The uproar over port control in US is just absolutely ridiculous. It is a perfect example of (1) liberals finally finding a consensus subject which they can milk in an election year to gain favor with the American public and (2) conservatives finding a consensus subject to regain squandered favor with the American public.

This is all politics, and bad politics at that.

So, here we are, nearing five years after 9-11 (the last time there was such cohesion among Dems and R-pubs), and there is once again collusion. Let's reflect a bit. There has been numerous torture allegations, CIA prison scandals, a war that has made our country more universally hated around the world, a CIA leak used for political gain, spiralling quality of education, abonimable economic practices, illegal NSA spying, and the list goes on. All of these things are issues that have a significant effect on the safety, competitiveness, and peace of the United States of America. There is not one of these issues that is not directly pertinent to every American and his/her desire to gauranty his/her well-being.

Yet, Dems and R-pubs have come together to battle the president on the one thing that has, if any, very little to do with national security!

This isn't the first time we've mentioned this, but the more we look at websites like onegoodmove.org and crooksandliars.com (sites we read/appreciate quotidiennement) the more we get sick to our stomach. We get the impression that all liberals are opposed to it because Bush is for it, and liberals are always desparate to undermine what Bush is doing, if anything, on the principle of being so very revolted by everything he is to them.

Onegoodmove even has a link to the AFL-CIO which reiterates the same seemingly baseless concerns about terrorism:

But while much of the outrage over the impending port contract has focused on the potential for increased terrorism, there is another outrage factor at work: Greed.

We have yet to find one article/video that gives reason to claims that Dubai Ports would pose a serious terrorism threat:

The Dubai firm wouldn't be handling security — the U.S. Coast Guard would continue to do that; unionized American longshoremen would still to do all of the loading and unloading; the ports in question were already foreign-owned, as are countless other ports in the United States; and if the U.S. had rejected the Dubai bid, a Singapore firm would probably have gotten the contract from the Brits instead.

Democratic and Republican politicians respond by insisting that the UAE is a bad country full of bad Muslims and Arabs, while Britain is a nice country where everyone likes us. I'm as Anglophile as they come, but you might have noticed that Britain has a surfeit of jihadi nut bags, such as the guys who blew up the Underground and want to behead Danish cartoonists.

Besides, the same Dubai company bought CSX's American port business in 2005, and nobody seemed to care then. So, why now?

We are in no way fans of Bush, but the Americans among us at the B&G are at least reasonable enough to support him in doing things that are good (or at least not bad). We have no reason to believe that the Dubai company poses a threat, and the fact that it's causing so much cooperation between liberals and conservatives against el presidente.

They should be standing together against things that matter, like bad education and torture.

This is ludicrous.

Then again, maybe we'll eat our words one day.

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism, Crooksandliars, Onegoodmove

Badly titled news: Doesn't seem so imPORTant....

2006-02-22T18:28:00.000+01:00

Why is there so much uproar about the ports? It doesn't seem to us that much will change, but what do we know?

So is it outsourcing major port security when

"U.S. Coast Guard controls security of our ports"
"U.S. Customs Service controls container security"

If nothing changes "no matter who owns the business operations," what's the problem?

Concerning the whole problem of "foreign-based" company problem, one obvious mistake:

Nor is it clear why Mr. Graham or anybody else should be worried about "foreign-based" companies managing U.S. ports, since P&O is a British company. And Britain, as events of the last year have illustrated, is no less likely to harbor radical Islamic terrorists than Dubai.

We'd like to add that:

Dubai Ports World is one of several foreign giants that operate terminals in ports around the globe; other big companies are from Denmark, Singapore, Taiwan and South Korea. Few U.S. terminals are managed by American-owned firms.

To continue (from first article):

None of the U.S. politicians huffing and puffing seem to be aware that this deal was long in the making, that it had been reported on extensively in the financial press, and that it went through normal security clearance procedures, including approval from a foreign investment committee that contains officials from the departments of Treasury, Commerce, State and Homeland Security, among other agencies. Even more disturbing is the apparent difficulty of members of Congress in distinguishing among Arab countries. We'd like to remind them, as they've apparently forgotten, that the United Arab Emirates is a U.S. ally that has cooperated extensively with U.S. security operations in the war on terrorism, that supplied troops to the U.S.-led coalition during the 1991 Persian Gulf War, and that sends humanitarian aid to Iraq. U.S. troops move freely in and out of Dubai on their way to Iraq now.

Finally, we're wondering if perhaps American politicians are having trouble understanding some of the most basic goals of contemporary U.S. foreign policy. A goal of "democracy promotion" in the Middle East, after all, is to encourage Arab countries to become economically and politically integrated with the rest of the world. What better way to do so than by encouraging Arab companies to invest in the United States? Clearly, Congress doesn't understand that basic principle, since its members prefer instead to spread prejudice and misinformation.

Well, as that stands, this doesn't seem so dangerous. Seems as though all Arabs are being grouped into one group that can't be trusted (that's aside from the fact that there is no information showing that Dubians will be coming to US ports to run them under new governance).

What's the big deal? We should hope people aren't speaking up for political reasons, but that doesn't happen in Washington....

Technorati tags: security, politics, ports, Dubia, Bush, terrorism

Sometimes it helps to be hairy

2006-02-21T07:29:00.000+01:00

Fanfan (right), our resident Chinese translator, writer, and all-around beautiful Taiwanese correspondant has allowed her boyfriend, yours truly, to make his Chinese fashion magazine debut.

Fanfan writes a monthly article for the magazine Orange based in Shanghai, I believe. These articles are meant to focus on certain cultural differences or nuances in the West that would be interesting to people in the East. One of these differences, obviously, is body hair.

As you can see, she used me as an example. The caption above my head says something along the lines of, "People in the Occident have a lot more hair to deal with." (Note: I'm the guy that's not a girl, and not a French rapper. I'm in the middle).

Technorati tags: fashion, culture

Important instructions in case of terrorist attack!

2006-02-20T21:16:00.000+01:00

According to unilife :
The US government has a new website aimed at preparing its citizens for terrorist attacks. It's another attempt at scare-mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice of WWII. The funny thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations...
Here's a couple samples, but there's a lot more at the unilife site:

My favorite's "Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!"

Technorati tags: Terrorism, humor

St. Jack: God's crusader to take Him out of Washington

2006-02-19T15:41:00.000+01:00

The Episcopal priest who presided over the funeral of Ronald Reagan, former Republican senator, and leader of battle to put Clarence Thomas on the supreme court says that the Republican's close relation to religion "makes the party seem exclusive" and "makes American politics meaner."

Danforth has written quite a bit on the subject, and it would be a good idea for liberals to work hand and hand with men like Danforth (who are becoming more numerous as the days pass) if they intend to bring more reason and less fireworks to Washington.

Not saying it's going to happen, though, because the only thing that liberals can agree on right now is that they disagree with Republicans. Democrats should call themselves the "Anti-Republicans," seeing as that is the only thing that seems to define them.

This anti-Liberal rant, brought to you in part by John P. Avlon:

Accidentally shooting a party fundraiser and then delaying telling the press: Regrettable.

Intentionally shooting down the career of one of your party's rising stars: Really stupid.

Vice President Cheney's hunting accident last weekend struck a nerve not just because of the inherent sensationalism of a second-in-command this side of Aaron Burr firing a gun at someone, but because for critics it served as a microcosm of the administration - insularity and incompetence resulting in people getting hurt.

But when Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee leaders Charles Schumer and Harry Reid decided to pull the plug on the U.S. Senate campaign of Iraqi War veteran Paul Hackett, they unwittingly encapsulated the reasons why Democrats have been unable to capitalize on a hailstorm of Republican mistakes over the past year.

Democrats don't seem to understand that politics is perception and that campaigns need to become crusades in order to succeed.

Hackett's candidacy in Ohio directly addressed the Democratic Party's deepest weaknesses - military credibility and red state resonance.

When will democrats realize that most republicans don't even like Bush but wouldn't vote for a democrat because they don't think democrats have any direction. Not to mention that democrats have let the republicans label them godless, baby-killing, anti-Americans who will turn your children into fags and dykes if they don't keep vigilant eye out.

Technorati tags: Religion, liberals, politics, globalization, Danforth, Fundamentalists

Fraternité? Laissez-les manger du porc...

2006-02-19T14:04:00.000+01:00

Don't like poor immigrants? Just feed them things they're not aloud to eat.

PARIS -- French authorities have begun closing down soup kitchens run by anti-immigrant groups that serve pork because the practice is offensive to Muslims, who cannot eat pork.
In Strasbourg and Nice, food handouts have been banned because they could lead to "public disorder."
"Schemes with racial subtexts must be denounced," Mayor Fabienne Keller said.
In Paris, police have stopped charities from serving pork soup at major stations on "administrative grounds," claiming the soup kitchens do not have the correct papers.
The scene has been repeated all over France in recent weeks after complaints that right-wing groups have been serving "racist" food. The groups giving out the soup say it is nothing more than traditional French cuisine. They say that hundreds of homeless people will go hungry.

You gotta' love French ingenuity in the face of immigration. Wouldn't be surprised if the "right wing group" is connected to the beloved Front National.

Technorati tags: France, immigration, politics, globalization, Front National

I joined al-Qaeda for the Benefits

2006-02-19T12:59:00.000+01:00

The Combatting Terrorism Center at West Point has done a study that shows,among other things, that al-Qaeda has a corporate structure which allows its opperatives far more vacation time than the American worker, though the pay is less than stellar:

"The corporate culture appears to be similar to other modern organizations," the study states.

Indeed, some of the documents used by researchers indicate that al Qaeda has vacation plans -- seven days every three weeks for married members, five days a month for bachelors -- and provides its members with 15 days of sick leave a year.
One document states that al Qaeda operatives must request vacation 10 weeks in advance, and another document outlines the pay scale for members: about $108 a month for married members, less if they're single and more if they have more than one wife.

The Harmony documents, some of which date back to the 1970s, when Islamists tried to overthrow the secular government of Syria, "also reveal a high level of arrogance and intense ambition" common to jihadist groups, the study states.

"While the theology may seem reactionary, the organization insists on using modern management principles as well. Instruction is provided on applying information technology, manipulating the media and researching the use of nuclear weapons for the cause of jihad."

More surprisingly, the study suggests that "the United States should conduct counterinsurgency and psychological operations against terrorist organizations in a subtle manner that avoids 'direct engagement' whenever possible."

So, one may ask, how could an entity (say, a country like the United States) take advantage of this structure?

1. Disrupt al-Qa’ida’s control of operations and limit its financial efficiency. (see graph)

2. Constrain al-Qa’ida’s security environment.

3. Prioritize efforts based on sub-group vulnerabilities.

4. Conduct an aggressive study of jihadi strategy and foreign policy.

5. Deny jihadi groups the benefit of security vacuums they seek to exploit and create.

6. Turn the jihadi vanguard back on itself.

7. Confuse, humiliate, demoralize and embarrass the jihadi rank-in-file.

8. Subvert the authority of senior commanders.

9. Facilitate misunderstanding as well as understanding of America’s intentions and capacity.

10. Force jihadi propagandists back on their heels.

11. Understand and exploit the ideological breaks in the jihadi movement.

12. Anticipate al-Qa’ida’s transformation from an organization to a social movement.

One interesting note:

The Combating Terrorism Center and the al-Qaeda's own words within the Harmony documents go a long way in debunking the myth that al-Qaeda possesses an infinte pool of talent capable of stepping in for experienced leaders jilled [sic: jailed] or captured on the field of battle.

Technorati tags: Terrorism, West Point, politics, globalization, Bush

Hicks: Part deux

2006-02-18T16:15:00.000+01:00

Unsexy article of the week: Why Big Money could mean Big Peace

2006-02-18T15:03:00.000+01:00

At least five of the Taiwanese companies that make parts for Dell computers have factories in China: MSI, Quantra, Darfon, Asutek, Liteon. In order to function, these companies rely on good, open relations between China and Taiwan. Though tensions are always high between the two "countries," the more intertwined these countries become in commercial competition and not political quibbling, the less likely it is that China will ever use exercise its sovereignty over Taiwan.

This is a part of what Thomas Friedman called the Dell Theory of Conflict Prevention:

"no two countries that are both part of a major global supply chain, such as Dell's, will ever fight a war against each other as long as they are both part of the same global supply chain, because people embedded in major global supply chains don't want to fight old-time wars any more."

Friedman illustrates this by showing the process of constructing a Dell laptop he ordered, and comes to the conclusion that "involved about 400 companies in North America, Europe, and primarily Asia, but with 30 key players. Somehow, though, it all came together."

This idea of a supply chain bringing about a new sort of stability isn't new, seeing as it can be found in Kant's 1795 work Perpetual Peace:

The connections, more or less near, which have taken place among the nations of the earth, having been carried to that point, that a violation of rights, committed in one place, is felt throughout the whole, the idea of a cosmopolitical right can no longer pass for a fantastic exaggeration of right; but is the last step of perfection necessary to the tacit code of civil and public right; these systems at length conducting towards a public right of men in general, and towards a perpetual peace.

Yet, there is still the tendancy towards protectionism. On top of that concept of "China is stealing our workers and so on," there is the cry of how capitalism is inherently bad. This is very noticeable in France:

The French regard America as the epitome of liberal “Anglo-Saxon” capitalism. What sets their model apart from the individualist American one, they believe, are the values of equality and community. After a visit to America in the 1940s, Simone de Beauvoir wrote that she regarded “America as the country where capitalist oppression had triumphed in the most vile fashion.”

In France, capitalism, by and large, is bad. It abuses workers in third world countries, it sees nothing but dollar signs, and it places no dignity in humanity.

We are not denying that, rather we are saying that it's only have of the story. As a report on the evening news on TF1 the other night showed, turning the Clemonceau away was much lamented by the Indian shipyard workers who needed the work. So, yes, companies/countries do abuse workers in less developed countries, but at the same time, it has been shown time and time again that these people need the work also in order to make a better life.

That said, we hang largely on the idea that global commerce will stabilize the world, and that most companies don't want war, as it is bad for business. As mentioned in this article:

In the run-up to the Iraq war, some anti-war campaigners made the argument that capitalism and war go hand-in-hand. Because we are running out of resources, they said, the ever-increasing quest for oil and other raw materials would lead to more conflict.

In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Firstly, we are not running out of resources. This is a counter-intuitive argument, but scarcity of resources, as measured by price, is decreasing. New resources are being found, new technology means that resources are used more efficiently. Higher prices for resources lead to investment in technology or new thinking about how to accomplish end products - leading to less scarcity. While oak furniture is often real wood, my sturdy Ikea bookcases are only Beech veneer because that's the way to make them cost-effectively. Cars of the future will run on hydrogen - not because we run out of oil but because they will be cheaper.

Secondly, while war may be in the interests of defence companies, it is not in the interests of business in general. War gets in the way of commercial interests. It leads to greater uncertainty and higher taxes...

The problem? Why is there still war? Mr. Friedman, would you like to take this?

Obviously, Iraq, Syria, south Lebannon, North Korea, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Iran are not part of any major global supply chains, all of them remain hot spots that could explode at any time and slow or reverse the flattening of the world.

Friedman points to the only Middle Eastern company traded on the Nasdaq: Aramex. If there was a way to encourage this sort of developement in the Middle East, more Aramex's, we would see a huge change in the social conflicts in the world. In that case, one would think, competition would move from the oil fields to the stock exchange.

What can we do? That we don't know. How do you improve education in a region you've never been to? We'll work on it, but we'll have to get back to you later.

Technorati tags: Terrorism, Peace, culture, politics, globalization

Oscar the Fish warns of Allah's wrath

2006-02-18T14:32:00.000+01:00

Fortunately, Westerners aren't the only one's who spread emails with badly photoshopped photos.

As you see here, people are sending photos concerning Allah's wrath on a Danish road (taught that road a lesson).

This picture should remind people of other popular photoshop emails like "Sharking jumping up to bite helicopter rescuer" or "satellite picture of the great black out in the north east" -- among many, many others.

Let's not forget the non-photoshop photos either. These are the photos of people praying to a sweat stain that looks like Jesus or a cheeseburger with the image of Mary.

Add Oscar the fish to God/Allah's (they're the same entity) minions of message bearing objects:

Locals flocked to the village's pet shop, Water Aquatic, this week after it was noticed that the markings on the scales of the two-year-old albino Oscar fish mimicked the Arabic script for Allah.
That the other side of the fish appeared to be inscribed with the word Muhammad only served to compound the spectacle. Within hours, Oscar - originally from Singapore - found hordes of locals, paparazzi and national television news reporters peering into his tank.
Mohammed Riaz-Shahid, 38, the manager of the Oasis Fast Food restaurant across the road was quickly appointed interpreter and led the chorus of claims that this was a message from above.
"There's no doubt about it," he said. "The markings are clear to see. Allah on one side, Muhammad on the other."
"Christians, Jews - they all believe in God," he explained. "So God's showing a sign to everyone, a sign that he's here."
Peter Hurst, 17, concurred. "It's a sign of something - no doubt - probably God," he said. "It's amazing, especially for this time of year."
Perhaps the most flabbergasted visitor of all was a man from "a town nearby" who asked to remain anonymous. Last night, he claimed, he had dreamed about a whale with the words Muhammad and Allah inscribed on its head.

In similar news, I had a dream a couple of nights ago of dead flamingoes frozen in a lake. The next day (this is true), I saw an article in the paper talking about Flamingoes at an aviary in France. The article was about the bird flu worries in Europe.

I haven't alerted the authorities yet, but I'll make sure the media knows once the flu strikes.

Technorati tags: Religion, Allah, culture, Islam

Israeli chief of Shin Bet: I’m not sure we won’t miss Saddam.”

2006-02-18T14:16:00.001+01:00

We'll be as brief as possible here. Israel's one of America's most contraversial allies, especially when it comes to dealing with Arab nations. Osama has cited the US's relationship with Israel several times as a reason for the current al-Qaeda conflict.

So, the US makes itself so much more vulnerable to attacks vis-a-vis its deep connections to and protection of Israel.

Well, unfortunately, some Israelis aren't singing the US's praises...ungrateful bastards:

Iraq Invasion a Distaster For Israel

Remember when the neo-cons boasted that invading Iraq would be good for Israel? The chief of Shin Bet, Yuval Diskin, begs to differ. The BBC reported today that the head of Israel’s security agent said a “strong dictatorship would be preferable to the present ‘chaos’ in Iraq.” So much for making the Middle East more stable.

BBC | Yuval Diskin said a strong dictatorship would be preferable to the present “chaos” in Iraq, in a speech to teenage Jewish settlers in the West Bank.

He also said the Israeli security services and judiciary treated Arabs and Jewish suspects differently.

A Shin Bet veteran, Mr Diskin took over as Shin Bet’s chief in May.

His speech to the students at the Eli settlement as they prepared for military service was secretly recorded and broadcast on Israeli TV.

When asked about the growing destabilisation of Iraq, Mr Diskin said Israel might come to rue its decision to support the US-led invasion in 2003.

“When you dismantle a system in which there is a despot who controls his people by force, you have chaos,” he said.

“I’m not sure we won’t miss Saddam.”

Technorati tags: Terrorism, Israel, culture, politics, Iraq

You say sedation, I say sedition: VA Nurse investigated for "Sedition" for Criticizing Bush:

2006-02-18T13:22:00.000+01:00

Here’s what her letter said.

“I am furious with the tragically misplaced priorities and criminal negligence of this government,” it began. “The Katrina tragedy in the U.S. shows that the emperor has no clothes!” She mentioned that she was “a VA nurse” working with returning vets. “The public has no sense of the additional devastating human and financial costs of post-traumatic stress disorder,” she wrote, and she worried about the hundreds of thousands of additional cases that might result from Katrina and the Iraq War.

“Bush, Cheney, Chertoff, Brown, and Rice should be tried for criminal negligence,” she wrote. “This country needs to get out of Iraq now and return to our original vision and priorities of caring for land and people and resources rather than killing for oil. . . . We need to wake up and get real here, and act forcefully to remove a government administration playing games of smoke and mirrors and vicious deceit.

Otherwise, many more of us will be facing living hell in these times.”

This is certainly the type of thing Americans need to be spending their time on. If this is sedition, the terrorists have won.

Technorati tags: Terrorism, War on Terror, culture, politics

Hope this time it works better than before

2006-02-18T13:09:00.000+01:00

Round two:

The Bush administration made an emergency request to Congress yesterday for a seven-fold increase in funding to mount the biggest ever propaganda campaign against the Tehran government, in a further sign of the worsening crisis between Iran and the west.
Condoleezza Rice, the US secretary of state, said the $75m (£43m) in extra funds, on top of $10m already allocated for later this year, would be used to broadcast US radio and television programmes into Iran, help pay for Iranians to study in America and support pro-democracy groups inside the country.

We here believe that there couldn't be a better way to deal with Iran. The US should be inviting all qualified students to students from contentious countries to study at their universities. We never understood why the government thought making visa restrictions on students was going to fight terrorism.

American politicians should be doing everything in their power to revive the old American image as "Exporters of Hope" as T. Friedman put it.

Technorati tags: Iran, terrorism, politics

Drawing conclusions: Mohammed's image a pretty familiar site

2006-02-17T13:46:00.000+01:00

(“The Mi’raj of Muhammad,” a 1517 piece.)

A Long History of Muhammed drawings:

Muhammad on Museum Walls

As they understand it, the Koran does not forbid representations of Muhammad, though other revered texts have led millions of Muslims to scorn the idea. They know that many Islamic artists have taken on the subject. And they know that pictures of Muhammad — not caricatures, but respectful representations, executed by and for Muslims, sometimes with the prophet's face shrouded by a veil, sometimes not — can be found in museums throughout Europe and North America.

By happenstance, curators say, none of the artworks at LACMA, the Freer or the Met were on public display when protests erupted late last year following publication in Denmark of a dozen newspaper cartoons lampooning Muhammad. But most of the museum-held portrayals of Muhammad can be accessed through the museums' Internet sites, along with some explanatory text.

...

At LACMA, Islamic art curator Linda Komaroff said: "We've always known about these images, and no one's ever had a problem, because they are respectful.... I wish this whole issue would go away because it's so incendiary."

In Art Museums, Portraits Illuminate A Religious Taboo

"Of course such depictions exist," says Sayyid Syeed, secretary general of the Islamic Society of North America. "What is important to remember is that they were never widely available. Had they been, the common people surely would have resented them. But they were made for powerful dynasties, and no one could take them to task.
"Today the consensus is strong. From Morocco to Indonesia, our tradition prohibits such images."
Those rough cartoons from Denmark were intended to enrage. They do what they set out to do. Published in a bunch, they disrespect the faith. The paintings of the prophet found in grand museums aren't like that at all.

Here are LOTS of examples for you arranged in chronological order:

From Rashid al-Din's Jami al Tawarikh (Compendium of Chronicles) - here's a page from the Met (with pictures) explaining some history of the book.
-----Khalili Collection Ms 727, Rashid al-Din's Compendium of Chronicles, f3a: Muhammad conquers Mecca, 1314, painted Iran.
-----Edinburgh University Library MS Arab 20, Rashid al Din's Compendium of Chronicles, Scene of the Birth of Muhammad, 1315, painted Iran. The baby Muhammad has a visible face. Here's a link to an image of ONE folio, though not one showing Muhammad.

---Topkapi Sarayi Library, Istanbul, B.282 Kulliyyat-i Tarikhi of Hafiz-i Bru, folio 171A: Muhammad Conquers Mecca, 1415-1416, painted Afghanistan -- Muhammad's face is a golden wash of fire and he stands in front of a gold background. F 169A shows Ali storming a fortress.

---Topkapi Sarayi Library, Istanbul, MS Hazine 2154, F 107:Muhammad describing Jerusalem, 1400-50, painted Iran -- FULLY FACED Muhammad.

---Paris, Bib Nat, SupplTurc 190, Hari-Malik Bakhshi, Mi'rajnama, folio 34B: Muhammad and the Angel Gabriel, 1425-50, painted Afghanistan. Fully faced Muhammad, both Muhammad and Buraq encased in flames.

---Khalili Collection MSS 620, The Giant Uj* and the Prophets Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, 15th Century book, painted Iraq - click this link, choose Publications, choose Vols XXV-XXVI, scroll down - it's the image in the left margin. I can't find the folio information without going to our library and the Khalili collection doesn't allow access to pages deep in the directory. Sorry.

---London, British Museum. Mi'raj, 1497, painted Iran. The thumbnail image I can see looks like a fully-faced Muhammad, but it won't enlarge and I'm not sure.

---Worcester Art Museum, page from a Khamseh of Nizami, Mi'raj, Muhammad on Buraq, 1550, painted Iran. Here's a link to a page from the book, but like the Edinburgh link not to the correct page. It begins to make me wonder if the curators are avoiding controversy by keeping the Muhammad images off the internet?

---Freer Gallery, Washington, Jami, Haft Awrang (Seven Thrones), F 275A, Mi'raj, Muhammad on Buraq, painted Iran, 1556-65. Go here, scroll to Arts of the Islamic World, choose the last virtual exhibition -- your tax dollars at work!! Choose the first poem of the 7 - "Chain of Gold." The Ascent of Muhammad (the Mi'raj) is the 4th page in. There's a nice note on the use of the veiled prophet (anyone from St. Louis reading? That's where it comes from.).

---Topkapi Sarayi Library, Istanbul, MS.Hazine 1221, Kitab Siya-i Nabi (Life of the Prophet), multiple scenes from the life, including the Birth, Call by Gabriel, the Call to Prayer from the top of the Kaba, the Mi'raj, and the Death of the Prophet, 1594, painted Turkey.

Some other useful things
Here is a useful piece on the Night Journey of Muhammad, the Mi'raj, from Wikipedia. Perhaps its explanation of the mystical content will help you understand why this is such a common IMAGE of Muhammad.

The Wikipedia article on Buraq, the steed of Muhammad, even has a picture optimistically described as "public domain." I don't recognize it (it's not a great reproduction and, like I said, I'm not a specialist). It shows a veiled Muhammad.

Technorati tags: cartoons, Mohammed, religion, culture, politics, Art, Islam

Cartoons...are you listening?

2006-02-17T10:15:00.000+01:00

(From Slate)
This is what cartoons are supposed to do. Political cartoons are meant to make a point, not childishly insult an entire group of people.

Technorati tags: cartoon, spying, NSA, culture, politics, comedy

T BaG Bicks VSer: The Bow and Grimace Bill Hicks Video Series (part 1)

2006-02-16T22:50:00.000+01:00

Technorati tags: video, religion, Bill, Hicks, culture, politics, comedy

So much news...so little organization...

2006-02-16T19:43:00.000+01:00

Sunny days aren't just for working on your base tan anymore

In a scientific breakthrough that has stunned the world, a team of South African scientists has developed a revolutionary new, highly efficient solar power technology that will enable homes to obtain all their electricity from the sun.

This means high electricity bills and frequent power failures could soon be a thing of the past.

The unique South African-developed solar panels will make it possible for houses to become completely self-sufficient for energy supplies.

The panels are able to generate enough energy to run stoves, geysers, lights, TVs, fridges, computers - in short all the mod-cons of the modern house.

It actually shouldn't be much of a suprise
Global Warming (the other GW) is becoming a hot topic in red states. The movement was, after all, started by a conservative republican.

Paciderm Payback: Elephants never forget...and they want revenge!

The reputation that elephants have for never forgetting has been given a chilling new twist by experts who believe that a generation of pachiderms may taking revenge on humans for the breakdown of elephant society.

Berlusconi = Jesus, according to Berlusconi
The connection is fairly apparent, once you remember that Paul said in his lost letter to the Ephesians (later revealed in the LA Times), "Thou shoult nullify laws that make anticorruption prosecution possible, so as to facilitate organized crime in the name of the Lord God, our Savior, maker of heaven and gelato."

Sharon: "Did I miss anything?" Well, aside from Hamas winning the election....your son was arrested.

You mean to tell me that Arabs don't watch FOX?

One of the chief means by which democracy was supposed to be preached to Arabs is the U.S. Arabic-language television station Al Hurra ("the Free One") and its sister station, Radio Sawa ("Together"). Instead, these government-funded stations represent everything that is wrong and misconceived about official U.S. ways of approaching the Arab world.

Widespread Muslim fury at the European media's caricatures of the prophet Muhammad, and widespread Western incomprehension of that fury, illustrate the extent to which we are still talking past each other. Clearly there is an urgent need for media that will bridge this gap. But to be effective, they have to be credible with Muslims — which Al Hurra is not.

Still, President Bush has requested a 13% spending increase for Al Hurra. Yet, according to a recent Zogby poll, only 1% of Arab viewers watch it as their first choice. Al Hurra claims 21.3 million viewers, but it will not publish the Nielsen survey that supposedly supports this figure. The station is rightly regarded by most Arabs as a mouthpiece for the Bush administration.

Um...Conservatives, don't you like small government?

Lindsey Graham (R) of South Carolina called some of the legal justifications the Bush administration used for the program (like its assertion that it didn't need Congress's or the judiciary's OK) "dangerous." Over in the House, Heather Wilson, a Republican from New Mexico, is calling for an investigation.

Why was this significant? Because conservatism, real conservatism with its distrust of government and radical change, has been in short supply in our nation's capital since 2001. Oh, there are Republicans, and they have controlled the political landscape here since then. But there is a difference between Republicanism and conservatism.

Stem Cells may be back in business in the US.

Mr. Hicks, did you want to say something about this?

"Gays in the military . . . here's how I feel about it, alright? Anyone . . . DUMB enough . . . to want to be in the military, should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement."

Prisons in and outside of the US:
1) Those anti-American killjoys at the "U.N." have more to whine about:

A draft United Nations report on the detainees at Guantanamo Bay concludes that the U.S. treatment of them violates their rights to physical and mental health and, in some cases, constitutes torture.

It also urges the United States to close the military prison in Cuba and bring the captives to trial on U.S. territory, charging that Washington's justification for the continued detention is a distortion of international law.

Don't these guys have better things to do than to keep nagging the US? "Wah wah wah...don't go to Iraq. The weapons inspectors do their job...wah wah wah...You need to close Guantanamo...wah wah wah...." I mean, don't these guys know that the US is at war against terrorism? If the US closes Guantanamo, the terrorists win. Do you want the terrorists to win?

2) Abu Ghraib: The most understated headline of recent history (like saying "Katrina Victims Unhappy"):

Iraq's acting human rights minister, Nermine Othman, said she was "horrified" by the pictures and would study whether any action could be taken against those responsible, even though some offenders have been imprisoned.
"There will be two kinds of reactions from Iraqis," she told The Associated Press. "One will be anger and others will feel sorry that they (SBS) didn't give them to the Iraqi government to investigate. Why use them? Why show them? We have had enough suffering and we don't want any more.

3) Then, the party doesn't stop in the city of Angels....

Technorati tags: video, religion, Palestine, culture, politics, Israel, Sharon

Shut up about art, stupid hippies....Lessons in Harmony

2006-02-16T17:18:00.000+01:00

There's a John Lennon exhibit here in Paris that's actually very interesting, but it's also very angering, in the sense that it reminds me of how tired I am about people saying things like, "Music will save the world."

Do I not believe that? Yes, and that's the problem. I'm just tired of people saying like music will feed people, relieve debt, or something like that. Music won't cure aids, but it will make people want to save others.

Art -- more specifically, music -- can make a change, but you can't just say that without validating it.

This documentary is one of the most touching films I've ever seen, because it's real. It's about a Palestinian-Israeli orchestra formed by Edward Said and Daniel Barenboim.

For now, just check out the videos. They're from the documentary about the orchestra called Lessons in Harmony.

Technorati tags:video, religion, Palestine, culture, politics, Israel

Stupid in America

2006-02-13T15:09:00.000+01:00

This is a 20-20 episode with John Stostle (the other mustache). There are no wars, no talks about evolution or religion, and no celebrities getting naked, so there probably won't be much talk about it.

What it addresses is what we're convinced is the deterioration of the American education system. It's a system that has changed little since it was created, when most Americans were still living on farms.

Here are some highlights:

Giving a test in New Jersey and Belgium: in a charter school in Belgium, the kids score, I believe, 30 points higher than the American students in New Jersey.

Notice that, in a country where French, Walloon, and Flemish is spoken, the Belgian students are smacking us down in English.

The Money Question: We've doubled the amount of money for education (adjusted for inflation) in the last 30 years, but the grades have fallen.

A principal in a school that spends thousands less per student says the money complaint is the "biggest lie in America"

South Carolina

18 year-old in SC can't read.
Sanford trying to create a voucher system

Teacher's Unions.

can't fire teachers (even when crude, sexual emails have been sent to female students)
2/80,000 teachers have been fired as incompetent
Rubber Room - $20 million spent per year just to keep dangerous teachers away from children. These teachers are paid to go into these "rubber rooms" and do nothing all day.

The most common answer given as a remedy: choice. People say that vouchers are the answer. Take a look. Think about it.

Outside sources:

Literacy of College Graduates is on Decline

Technorati tags:video, Education, globalization, culture, politics

Bill Hicks on creationism and fundamentalism...

2006-02-13T14:30:00.000+01:00

This is the legendary philoso-comedian Bill Hicks. One of the funniest, most sarcastic jokesters who ever lived. He died, I believe, about ten years ago (that's why he mentions Bush 1 being voted out of the white house).

Hicks is the voice on the last song of Tool's Aenima album, if you're familiar with it.

We've referenced Bill Hicks several times. Most recently we referenced his comments on evolution, which are in this video.

Warning: there's naughty langauge in the video.

The views of Bill Hicks do not represent the religious views of the Bow and Grimace, however, they do represent our humanist views. That said, as usual, we are not mocking religions, religious, or God... Just certain people's views thereof.

Technorati tags:video, Bush, religion, creationism, Bill Hicks, culture, politics

Read all about it....

2006-02-12T13:52:00.000+01:00

We've said it before, Sweden is impeccable. When God created the world, he was thinking of Sweden. This is just another reason why.

Rest in Peace, Mr. and Mrs. King. We've still got some work to do.

Staff members of three Democrats and two Republicans aren't so keen on unflattering-but-accurate information about their bosses on Wikipedia.

(Little) Women's lib: Girls are drinking and pill-popping more than boys. You've come a long way, baby!

The War You Didn't See: a soldier's story

Smuggling Bacon: more on American basketball players in Iran

More on Sciences:
God Bless Darwin
Can Bush make America more competitive in Math and Science?
Is it hot in here?
Remember when they said, "We're still waiting for a verdict on global warming," they meant, "We're trying to figure out how we can surpress the information."

Technorati tags: religion, Bush, science, education, culture, politics, politics

T BAG Hypo PubS: The Bow A Grimace Hypothetical Public Service Announcements

2006-02-11T14:17:00.000+01:00

We are starting a series of public service announcements we would put on billboards and television if we had the money to do so. It's called "T BAG Hypo PubS."

The first one is, to keep our theme for the day, to end the Intelligent Design debate:

[SCENE: Students sitting in a classroom. The camera is moving down the center aisle towards the teacher who is standing in front of a chalkboard littered with terms and sketches. What she is saying gradual becomes audible. As the teacher is speaking, the camera gradually circles the teacher until it is behind her head as she finishes the line. The view is the whole class before the teacher]

Teacher: And that concludes are day-long discussion of evolution. Tomorrow, we will begin our month long session on all of the systems of the body: circulation, endocrine, etc. Any questions?

[One student in front of the teacher raises his hand.]

Teacher: Timmy.

Timmy: For the test, if we believe God created the world, are you going to count off if we put that? You know, if we don't believe in evolution.

Teacher: First of all, evolution doesn't attempt to explain who or what created the world, only what happened from there.

[Silence]

Teacher: Any more questions?

[Screen goes black. The word EVOLUTION appears on the screen in white letters.]

Narrator (Morgan Freeman, preferably): Evolution. It's only a debate in the US.

[The narrator's (Clint Eastwood would be good too) words appear on the screen as he's saying them. Then, cut back to the classroom]

Teacher: Chang, what are you doing back there?

Chang: (nervously) Oh, I'm sorry. While you were both talking about God during biology, I started sketching a new idea I had for a computer processor using nanotubes instead of silicon chips. I'm sorry for not paying attention.

Teacher: That's okay, Chang.

Technorati tags:religion, Bush, science, education, culture, politics

Castration and my toilet: Great American inginuity...It was great while it lasted.

2006-02-11T09:32:00.000+01:00

UPDATE: "Chinese To Develop Sciences, Technology" Washington Post, Feb. 10, 2006

This is a tale of American, her inginuity, her ability to make food fast and computers faster (with effective grammar/spellchecks that have rendered us unable to spell anything on hour own). This is an example of the resiliancy of American spirit in the face of adversity.

Unfortunately, this is also a story about how it has nothing to do with America. The great American inginuity that made America what it is will just as easily make India, China, etc. back into what they once were, centers of innovation and .

You see, since our first meeting, the toilet seat in The B&G's Paris bureau has been broken. It favors female use (or use by uncooth males who choose not to lift up the toilet seat). I'm a traditional Southern gentlemen, so not lifting the seat when I'm shaking the dew of my lilly is simply not an option (though I rarely put the seat back down). Unfortunately, the seat on this toilet doesn't stay up on its own (probably made in France).

Finally, one day, I got fed up having to lean over to hold up the seat while I micturate (God bless the Cohen Brothers), and in a moment of genius, not so unlike Newton creating calculus or John Nash's developement of Game Theory, I fixed the damn toilet. In the spirit of Macgyver dismantalling an atomic submarine with a matchstick and a wine bottle, I used a coat-hanger and a pair of wire cutters.

Not only did I fix the toilet, but I accessorized. You see, the loop at the end of the coat hanger could double as a flower holder (like in the new VW beetles) or as a candle holder to get rid of that new poo-poo smell.

My major fault: I dropped that grey towel in the toilet after I took those pictures.

Anyway, God bless America, right? Nope.

There was a time when America was the leader in science and engineering, and as a result the most powerful nation in the world. Sure, America is still the most powerful nation in the world, but we're afraid that's changing. What is being called the "War on Science" is the reason.

The most recent indicator is the TIME magazine article on science in America. This is just another of the hundreds of articles we will one day look back on and say, "Shit, we should have seen it coming."

I can't get my hands on a copy of the magazine, but we're pretty sure the answer to their "Is America flunking science question?" is yes. An emphatic yes.

Reasons:

In the National Science Board's most recent report, they note that, of the 2.8 million science and engineering first university degrees (bachelors degrees) in the world, 1.2 million were in Asia (to students from Asian universities), 830,000 were from European universities, and only 400,000 were in the US. (see graph at left)

If you want a good idea of how significant this is, you can look at chapter 7 of Friedman's The World is Flat. As he quotes the NSB:

The number of jobs requiring science and engineering skills in the U.S. labor force is growing almost 5 percent per year. In comparison, the rest of the labor force is growing at just over 1 percent. Before September 11, 2001, the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) projected that science and engineering occupations would increase at three times the rate of all occupations.

Damnit...

A lot of the most recent problems in American science are a result of certain religious stigmas about science (which is the inspiration for this article). That's not to say that it's all the reason, since American students are perhaps the most apathetic students in the world, to make a huge generalization.

Before moving on to God, we're going to mention the stark contrast between the American spiral of science and engineering students to the spike of degrees coming from Asia. Going to Freidman again:

Science and engineering degrees now represent 60 percent of all bachelor's degrees earned in China, 33 percent in South Korea, and 41 percent in Taiwan. By contrast, the percentage of those taking a bachelor's degree in science and engineering in the United States remains at roughly 31 percent. Factoring out science degrees, the number of Americans who graduate with just engineering degrees is 5 percent, as compared to 25 percent in Russia and 46 percent in China...

Man, does that suck.

I'm not going to rewrite the whole chapter. You get the point: science and engineering breed innovation, innovation leads to new technology, new technology leads to big money. An economy that constantly innovates is a powerful economy. Am I wrong?

Well, what's the newest element in the "War on Science"? His name is Ken Ham. His photo (right, from this PBS documentary) reminds me of the Bill Hicks talk about evolution where he says something along the lines of "Why is it that so many people who are against the idea of evolution just seem bitter that they missed the boat, like God took 'em out of the oven too early."

Kenny believes that the Bible can be taken literally and that the world is 6,000 years old. He's going around the country teaching children to tell their teachers that, like their teachers, they weren't around when the world was created but they "know" someone who was: God.

That's great, Kenny. Make sure you tell them also that God is still working on the cure for cancer, a better source of renewable energy, a perfect democracy, a way to stop weapons proliferation, a way to stop global warming, and a solution to the lack of potable water in the world.

One good sign, though, I get the impression from the article that they've finally realized that evolution has nothing to do with how the earth was created or by whom, so they're focussing some on the Big Bang.

We have two solutions to the science/religion "debate" in America. One, any male who believes that the Bible should be taken word for word must castrate himself, for the Lord said to Matthew (Matt. 19: 12):

For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.

Let there be eunuchs! This will curb, after a generation, the flow of fundamentalists who aren't willing to dig deep into the questions of religion (like, explain how the choice between paradise and eternal torture is a choice, and if not how do we have free will?)

DISCLAIMER: We are not anti-religion, -Christian, etc. We believe in God, we just don't know what it's name is. We're under the impression that everybody is worshipping the same being and they don't even know it. Moreover, we know that Kenny doesn't represent most Christians, but it is up to devout Christians to silence men like him who are tainting the religion.

Second solution to the religion/science debate, support men like Jack Danforth, a former Republican senator and Episcopal minister who for several years now has been fed up with the fact that religion has hijacked politics.

We have a third solution as well, but we fear that it is too reasonable to work for Kenny.

We'll talk about that later. Until then, be ready for incredible innovations like my toilet-seat-holder-upper to start coming from China, India, Taiwan, etc. Not from the US.

Technorati tags:science, Bush, religion, creationism, education, culture, politics

Spurious George....

2006-02-10T19:42:00.000+01:00

We must note, to begin, we're not an anti-Bush journal. We don't think he's evil. We scoff at Hitler signs we see at protests. It just happens that, on a consistent basis, we find his actions to be on the wrong side of good, and we don't mean just over the line. We mean that his actions, words, percieved intentions tend to be almost without fail in the worst interests for America and the World.

We're open to suggestion. Until then, we hold that Bush is, and never was, fit to be an American president. The leader of the "free world" who strolls through the neighborhood giving out wiretaps instead of, say, vauchers for good schools.

It's hard for us just to say that, but we're trying to be clear that we're open to suggestions. Bush is human. He makes mistakes....

*red face*.....

And all that's so wrong right now in the US is not his doing.

*pursed lips*......

But a large goddamn part of it is made worse by him. There we said it!

Why the new rant today? Well, this. Another CIA official has come out and criticized the Bush Administration's decision to go into Iraq. So here's the tally:

Mike Scheuer:

The US invasion of Iraq was a "tremendous gift" to Osama bin Laden and a major setback in the struggle against al-Qaeda

Gary Schroen (when asked if he thought that Iraq was a distraction and if it was limiting our ability to secure Afghanistan, along with catching Osama):

I absolutely do. Afghanistan gets a distant second on all aspects, whether it's going to be military or aid that's going to be given to the country. Afghanistan is--the elections were successful. There is a beginning of democracy there. It's very fragile. The--but I think the entire population wants peace. It's a matter of how they share the pie. And we could do a lot more to bring that democracy to full birth if we would focus more attention, more money on [Afghanistan]...At this point, unfortunately, the Iraqi situation has gotten so large that it's become a major issue that has to be dealt with. I think, though, that ultimately we owe it to Afghanistan and to ourselves to end this al-Qaeda threat there and defeat the Taliban completely and let that country move forward so it doesn't become a safe haven for terrorism again.

These are the only two whom we know of right off the top of our heads, but let's not neglect the fact that the National Intelligence Council prepared reports urging against an invasion and presented them to the president before going into Iraq. Also, let's not neglect the absence of Intelligence offiicials who haven't come out to support the war, as well as the fact that those who have come out have been those who were directly responsible for the Osama/Al-Qaeda/Middle East branches of the CIA.

And now, to add to the list, Paul R. Pillar has come out with less than flattering remarks for the administration. What are his credentials? He was only the "was the national intelligence officer for the Near East and South Asia from 2000 to 2005" and a 28 year veteran of the CIA.

Take a look at the article.

We don't like to dwell on the past, but sometimes one has to clear up the past to move on to the future. How many CIA officials have to come out and say, "Yes, the intelligence was faulty, but we also didn't tell them to go into Iraq. We told them the opposite!" There is no reason to say that this war was justified. None of the claims have been justified.

That said, there is good that can be done. The United States could help foster (not force) a democracy. That's all for the future.

I'm tired. I can't write anymore.

The B&G's been talking too much politics lately. We need some more material.

Technorati tags:terrorism, Bush, Iraq, CIA, Osama, culture, politics

Thoughts for the day...

2006-02-09T16:49:00.000+01:00

What a quaint little planet we live on....

Anti-Zionist Jews congratulating Hamas on their victory. Now this, we really don't think anyone saw this coming (as opposed to this).
How's that surveillance thing doin' for catchin' them t'rr'sts?
Who'd a' thought that selective abortions favoring a certain sex could have horrible, long-lasting effects on the balance of society? Anywhere else?
Didn't someone else say this? Oh yeah, Osama. Damn he's good (at being evil, we mean).
Then again, perhaps our whole intent is futile, or tainted. Stupid brain.

Technorati tags:Hamas, Bush, China, terrorism, Osama, culture

Top Secret Tomfoolery

2006-02-09T10:29:00.000+01:00

Not to contradict the conventional knowledge that a select few professional spies alone are more effective than an entire nation of citizens who have their own safety in mind at catching terrorists within their borders, and certainly not to suggest that spy agencies are still functioning on a Cold War model, we'd like, if anything, just to play the devil's advocate.

Here goes:

9-11 Commission Report, Chapter 11, "The Millenium Exception" (all bold added by us)

Before concluding our narrative, we offer a reminder, and an explanation, of the one period in which the government as a whole seemed to be acting in concert to deal with terrorism-the last weeks of December 1999 preceding the millennium.
In the period between December 1999 and early January 2000, information about terrorism flowed widely and abundantly. The flow from the FBI was particularly remarkable because the FBI at other times shared almost no information. That from the intelligence community was also remarkable, because some of it reached officials-local airport managers and local police departments-who had not seen such information before and would not see it again before 9/11, if then. And the terrorist threat, in the United States even more than abroad, engaged the frequent attention of high officials in the executive branch and leaders in both houses of Congress.
Why was this so? Most obviously, it was because everyone was already on edge with the millennium and possible computer programming glitches ("Y2K") that might obliterate records, shut down power and communication lines, or otherwise disrupt daily life. Then, Jordanian authorities arrested 16 al Qaeda terrorists planning a number of bombings in that country. Those in custody included two U.S. citizens. Soon after, an alert Customs agent caught Ahmed Ressam bringing explosives across the Canadian border with the apparent intention of blowing up Los Angeles airport. He was found to have confederates on both sides of the border.
These were not events whispered about in highly classified intelligence dailies or FBI interview memos. The information was in all major newspapers and highlighted in network television news. Though the Jordanian arrests only made page 13 of the New York Times, they were featured on every evening newscast. The arrest of Ressam was on front pages, and the original story and its follow-ups dominated television news for a week. FBI field offices around the country were swamped by calls from concerned citizens. Representatives of the Justice Department, the FAA, local police departments, and major airports had microphones in their faces whenever they showed themselves.⁴²
After the millennium alert, the government relaxed. Counterterrorism went back to being a secret preserve for segments of the FBI, the Counterterrorist Center, and the Counterterrorism Security Group. But the experience showed that the government was capable of mobilizing itself for an alert against terrorism. While one factor was the preexistence of widespread concern about Y2K, another, at least equally important, was simply shared information. Everyone knew not only of an abstract threat but of at least one terrorist who had been arrested in the United States. Terrorism had a face-that of Ahmed Ressam-and Americans from Vermont to southern California went on the watch for his like.
In the summer of 2001, DCI Tenet, the Counterterrorist Center, and the Counterterrorism Security Group did their utmost to sound a loud alarm, its basis being intelligence indicating that al Qaeda planned something big. But the millennium phenomenon was not repeated. FBI field offices apparently saw no abnormal terrorist activity, and headquarters was not shaking them up.
Between May 2001 and September 11, there was very little in newspapers or on television to heighten anyone's concern about terrorism. Front-page stories touching on the subject dealt with the windup of trials dealing with the East Africa embassy bombings and Ressam. All this reportage looked backward, describing problems satisfactorily resolved. Back-page notices told of tightened security at embassies and military installations abroad and government cautions against travel to the Arabian Peninsula. All the rest was secret.
The End

Keep in mind, we're definitely not suggesting that intelligence agencies share more information with American citizens (certainely not more than "We're raising the terror level, because, well, we have our reasons" because that would counter-productive).

Moreover, aside from keeping all intelligence secret, we would never suggest that George H. W. Bush and Donald "The Don-Man" Rumsfeld fought against a bill that would regulate domestic spying, say, during the Ford Administration, but were finally convinced to support it. They certainly weren't convinced by the fact that the "cons" of domestic spying, if such a thing existed, were outweighed by the "pros" of domestic spying.

If any of that were true, it might suggest that many of the people still in the Bush Administration/family already acquiesced to the idea that there are bad aspects to having to get a warrant to spy on Americans but, moreover, that the positive aspects exceed and cancel them out.

Then again, we're not professionals. What do we know? This (national intelligence situation, no pun intended) all just seems counter-productive to us, and we'd like to (in this environment of spirited debate) put in our two cents. Though we know, in our heart of American hearts, that being secretive and closed up is probably the best way to run one of the largest and most powerful countries in the world.

Technorat tags:nsa, Bush, spying, terrorism

Those Wacky North Koreans...

2006-02-08T19:50:00.000+01:00

North Korea
Uploaded by HH32

Dan Rather and 60 minutes get a tour of North Korea. With very rare opportunity to take moving pictures of the country.

Technorat tags:North Korea

You say tomato, I say your religion is a farce...and tomahto.

2006-02-08T14:02:00.000+01:00

(photo from French newspaper Le Monde. The dialogue reads, "It's hard to be loved by such idiots." The title is, more or less, "Mohammed Overpowered by Fundamentalists")

One of the hardest things about starting a site like this and wanting readers is that it seems a journal must be provocative to be read. Showing both sides of an argument and trying to be objective isn't sexy, though, unless your an established news organization (and even then it's questionable). One day, perhaps, we can find the perfect mix that makes us scintillatingly objective.

Until then, we're going to try our hand at the latest polemic.

The purpose of mentioning this is that today we're going to try to offer both sides of an argument that is unwinnable (very unsexy). It's as such because religion(s) are involved, which are unfalsifiable, and international politics, which are subjective. The topic of course is the quaint little caricature war that European snooty-poots have recently become entangled.

The issue, for the most part, is over the "liberty of expression" and how far it extends. Make no mistakes about it, The B&G is, by and large, for unfettered freedom of expression, don't get that wrong. If, for example, you hate gay, bilingual trapeze artists, then by god you should tell everyone, in any manner you choose which does not harm others physically. Eventually, you will either realize how absurd your comments are, or you'll one day realize that no one's listening to you. In the very least, your idiotic beliefs don't have much effect on those around you, unless you decide to start killing, maiming, or torturing the poor circus performers with good fashion sense.

Unfortunately for the European champions of journalistic freedom, there's some snags in their holier than thou argument. The first being, there are several countries in which it is a crime to deny the Holocaust. We here believe in the Holocaust -- several of us even have grandparents that faught on one side or another in WWII -- but we also think it's ridiculous and pointless to make it illegal to deny the Holocaust.

Asserting that point does not denegrate the sheer gravity of the Holocaust. Saying something didn't happen doesn't make it fact. Moreover, keeping people from saying ridiculous things, doesn't prove them wrong, which is the purpose of any rational, modern society, is it not? This isn't a particularly new idea for European philosophers.

Nextly, this freedom of expression displayed by European papers seems to be largely onesided, which is true to some extent in the US. If mocking religions is a form of freedom of speech, why were cartoons of Jesus turned down by the same paper that published the cartoons now causing riots in the Middle East? Why not anti-semitic cartoons? This exposes, as far as we're concerned, one of the biggest faults in this whole debacle. When the European newspapers all published these cartoons, they didn't show a united stand for free speech, they showed their beliefs, because publishing something that's simply contreversial is not an expression of any sort of liberty other than the freedom to be a dick.

Perhaps Iranian Truth put it better:

Given that the cartoons lack any genuine political point except to brand a group of people as well as their prophet as murderers, I sincerely think they reflect current prejudicial perceptions of Muslims.

However, these papers have every right to do that. We'd just like to clarify that these newspapers are not providing someone with a vehicle to express himself, they are exercising their own freedom of expression using the cartoonists as a vehicle to do so.

Here's an example: if Billy Bob is in Kansas and he draws a series of cartoons depicting Mexicans as lazy, coniving, dirty, backwards, etc., would an American newspaper be violating his right to free speech by not publishing them? No. Billy Bob has every right to spend his own money to publish his cartoons in the Billy Bob Tribune, but if a newspaper publishes the cartoons for him, they are accepting that that cartoon expresses some view that is important to the interests of that paper. You don't see liberal political cartoons in conservative papers, do you? You don't see atheist cartoons in Christian newspapers, do you?

Now, saying that, we also think there's a considerable amount of criticism due Muslims and their leaders. For that, since none of us are from the area, we'll take it to the Middle Eastern bloggers. At Iraq the Model, they write that most of the actions taken against the cartoons have been futile in that they don't harm the governments being attacked, rather they brutalize the Iraqi people. It is an example of the saying, "The bird got mad at the grain field."

Our brilliant transportation minister Salam al-Maliki who is a Sadrist by the way announced that his ministry will suspend all projects and contracts with Denmark and Norway and said that Iraq will stop accepting any donations or offers concerning Iraq's reconstruction!
Who are they harming by doing this?
Denmark? No…they are harming no one but Iraq and Iraqis.

Concerning the riots, Iraq the Model contends that a large number of Iraqis haven't even seen the cartoons. He also notes the hypocrisy of the outrage itself, mentioning

we here in the Middle East have tonnes of jokes about Allah, the prophets and the angels that are way more offensive, funny and obscene than those poorly-made cartoons, yet no one ever got shot for telling one of those jokes or at least we had never seen rallies and protests against those infidel joke-tellers.

It is a good article, and deserves to be read.

Sabbah's Blog illustrates several frustrating realities. First of all, there is the often lamentable reality that news isn't news unless it burns, screams or scares. That's obvious, and it's also the reason for which "hardly anyone aired the peaceful protests, or even those who accepted the apology."

The other fustrating reality (or at least another aspect of the same problem) is being viewed through the lens of another culture. Sabbah quotes this Columbia Journalism Review article which cites only Western blogs in arguing that the Middle East needs more bloggers. We find it somewhat ironic that one of Columbia's most renowned professors was the Palestinian-born Edward Said who's seminal work was Orientalism, which described how the West views the East through a lens without attempting a contrapuntal approach. In other words, he was writing about what Sabbah criticized in the CJR.

Some things never change.

In the end, we believe that the newspapers had every right to publish those cartoons, but in doing so they are tacitally taking on those negative beliefs concerning Islam as their own. There doesn't seem to be any way around it. That said, on the other hand, we don't believe that these protests in the Middle East are primarily religious. As said in Iraq the Model and elsewhere, several regimes (e.g. Iran and Syria) are nurturing the riots, because they relegate the pressure put on them by the international community. In other words, "these protests and threats are more political than religious in nature." (sound familliar? "This whole situation has little to do with religion, just like the flag burnings have nothing to do with the flags.")

Technorat tags:Mohammed, cartoons, religion, jesus, Islam, terrorism

We'll do the work

2006-02-07T09:51:00.000+01:00

For quite some time, we've been keeping a bookmark folder called "Interesting Articles" in our firefox browser. Every time we read an article, saw an interesting video, etc. which was, how shall we put it, interesting? We put it in this folder. We're news junkies, so we have a lot of media in the folder.

Until now, we didn't really know what to do with these articles, so we decided for the people who don't have the time the least we could do is present certain articles that hit us as important (and pertinent to the B&G of course).

In a sense, we'll do the work for you. We'll read all the world papers in the langauges we know, and we'll relay the stuff to you. We won't tell you to like the articles, though we will kindly suggest that our combined intelligence is far superior to yours, hence the articles are of great import.

Consequently, by reading the articles, we're certain that you will learn how we got so wicked smart.

These are not all of the articles, we'll try to put them up every so often. Let's say, 3.4 times a week, on average.

China

Remember that Simpsons episode when they go to China for Aunt Selma to adopt a Chinese baby? When they land, the planes in the airport are loading boxes of "Heartland Oatmeal" and "America's Choice Apple Pie."

Well, add Mexico to the list. Their Chili peppers are Chinese. They're not the only ones, Egypt's Ramadan lanterns are made in China....and so on.

The point here isn't to be trite and show that lots of things are being made in China, it's to show that China's production costs so little that even developing countries are losing jobs to Chinese workers.
Then again, your good ole American patriotism, probably made in China. Bill Hicks, could you elaborate?
There's some conflicting stories about how far Chinese familial ties have changed in the last decade. Are their parents finding it easier to choose a mate for their children? Or is it more like this?

Trends

Seeing shouldn't be believing. Though war is war, there's quite a bit of evidence to show that the world is becoming more peaceful, though at a slow rate. Yet, increased media saturation makes it harder to believe.
And here we were thinking suicide bombing was an Islamic thing.
With all those people who, for quite some time have been saying, "We need to act in a manner that will be at least acceptable to the international community," someone should have been listening. More often than not, though, the response was, "America doesn't need the permission of the rest of the world to do what's in it's best interest." Unfortunately, to a large extent, the rest of the world is in America's best interest. God bless a flattening world.
Afghan heroin addicts: with all that poppy it was bound to happen one day.

Current Affairs

Meanwhile in Iran, it's time for some basketball. Put in the "Great Satan." On one level, we don't get along. On the other, we're teaching them to play basketball.

Russia, too.
A good article from the Iraqi paper Azzaman about the cartoons.
Pretty good evidence that America is often a symbol of everything that is humiliating to people in the Arab world. To our knowledge, no Americans drew the cartoons in question, nor did any American newspapers publish them. However, American buildings are being attacked as a result.

For many, this seems to validate the cry that America was attacked for what it is and not what it does. We don't think so (see previous post about truce with Osama).
Bush, double standards? From Saudi Arabia?
We've sung our praises for Wikipedia in the past, but we don't like wikipolitics.

We're becoming less civilized

Do people really listen to Pat Robertson? Well, appartently some do. He has his own law school to teach lawyers to fight the "culture wars" in America. But, in his free time, Pat Robertson is duping good Christian bodybuilders.

If Jesus can't help you live forever, Pat Robertson's shakes will take a few years off.
If you thought Ashley Simpson was bad, take a gander at Prussian Blue. Lamb and Lynx, two white-supremist twins, are out to rock your Arian world.

We're becoming more civilized

African desolation and sexy Angelina Jolie, nice juxtaposition. If that's what it takes to get people to watch, fine. Jeffrey Sachs' book The End of Poverty has been referenced several times in the B&G. It's one of the most inspiring and hopeful economic books we've read. Not to mention that Sach's is like an economic James Bond, flying to communist countries and writing economic strategies overnight in smokefilled rooms, having meetings in the Kremlin, saving Bolivia, etc.
There's nothing Bruce Lee can't do. Even when he was kicking ass, Bruce was always a uniter.
For all those artists who want to romantic and say, "Music can heal everything," just be more specific, because it can fix some problems.

Technorati tags: China, Islam, Current Affairs, News, Bush, Politics, Cartoons

My Savior can kick your Prophet's ass...

2006-02-04T20:10:00.000+01:00

We'd like to take a shot at explaining some of what's going on right now in this "freedom of expression" dispute between the Middle East and Europe. We'll finish it up by showing why Asia will eventually rule the world.

We'd like to present an image that may serve better to present exactly why the outrage (though four months later) has boiled over about the silly cartoons of ole' Mo(hammed). So, first, imagine your one of the many inhabitants of a Middle Eastern country who is not blessed enough to be literate. You've never read a paper. In fact, you've never read anything.

You can understand pictures though, and this morning someone shoved a picture of your beloved prophet Mo. In your life, God is the most important aspect, and Mo is God's right hand man. Like Brandt to Jeffrey Lebowski (though you, right there, you don't know what I'm talking about). Mo's the guy that says, "Her life is in your hands." Twice, because God told him to.

Imagine, then, someone showed you a picture from some newspaper far, far away where almost everyone knows how to read and there are more or less, even in such a small nation, 2.5 million more internet users than your country. You don't know all that though, because you don't have the internet. If you did (and you could read), you'd probably be worried about being arrested for whatever it was you decided to do.

This picture shows Mo, God's homeboy, with a fuse sticking out of his turban like a bomb. You're not fooled, because you've heard all about these Western governments from your leaders. You know exactly how they're determined to keep you down. Most of all, you know (from your leaders) that they are the reason (especially the US) that your poor.

You're pissed.

Every time you look at that picture, you don't see Mo. No, you see Jesus, one foot in Europe, one in the US, spread eagle over the Atlantic. Jesus is lifting up his tunic and spanking his ass in front of the entire Middle East, saying, "What are you gonna do about it, Ahmed?"

Jesus would then, if it were an animation, teabag Mo.

Now that we've thoroughly offended everything, we'd like to say, "Exactly." Because, just as Jesus had nothing to do with those caricatures of Mohammed and the hate talk that ensued, neither did Mohammed. This whole situation has little to do with religion, just like the flag burnings have nothing to do with the flags.

The most obvious reason this is not really a religious issue, well, would be the lack of fatwas for the murder of thousands of people in London, Spain, the United States, etc. at the command of Osama "Yo' Mama" Bin Laden (may Toby Keith rot in hell for his irrisistable cognomen) until May 2005.

This isn't a critic of Muslims, their religion, or religion in general. This is a critique of the fact that many religious people let political figures dictate their perception of religion, to the point that no one can distinguish the one from the other. It is exactly this reason that gets Muslims in Damascas burning flags and poor Americans in Appalachia voting against their needs.

There's is so much more to this cycle: Europe's integration problems, European immigrants integration problems, the lack of industry in Arab nations (just look at the dismal number of patents coming from the region), the lack of education in the Arab world.

The moral of the story: Leave Jesus and Mohammed out of this, because your political figures already have.

As for what Asia has to do with any of this, well, they don't really have the religious quibbles there that we have in the West and Middle East. That provides for very few barricades in march towards taking over the world economy (no, that doesn't mean they have no morals).

Technorati tags:
Mohammed, cartoons, religion, jesus, Islam, terrorism

A Little T & A with Your R & R: Washinton Post Links to Porn

2006-02-02T14:57:00.000+01:00

Sitting with our coffee this morning, perousing the quotidiens, we got a chuckle out of what must have been a little glitch in the Washington Post's blog linking software.

Reading an article entitled "NTP Asks Federal Judge to Turn Off Blackberries," there is a link in the "Who's Blogging" section for a "blog" called Actress Nude Scenes.

The links that line the top of the page are clearly only meant for purposes of erudition: sex, fuck, pussy, dick, blowjob, and so on. There appear to be essays as well. Take, for instance, their piece on "The Most Unique actress+nude+scenes results on Gonaget." Great piece! Thanks WP!

We're still not sure exactly how this happened, but we're sure someone found out how to take advantage of the Washington Post linking program. No matter what good is on the internet, porn will always find a way to make it sleazier.

Technorati tags: Washington Post, Porn, blogs

Speaking Chinese, Seeing Middle America

2006-01-31T11:07:00.000+01:00

Search results from American, our-Freedoms-are-bigger-than-yours Google:
Search results from commie, porn-/human rights-free, Chinese Google:

We decided to do our own little test of the resent Google China, much like the one we found at boingboing. With ours, however, we had the luxury of a Chinese keyboard in which we could do the search in Chinese.

Please keep in mind that we have no profound knowledge of how Google works exactly, so all of this is pure observation.

Doing several prelimenary searches of things like Falung Gong, Human Rights, etc. We actually got more sources on google.cn than we had gotten from google.com. We were shocked, obviously, thinking we were onto something, until we realized that most of the pages were Taiwanese. It should be clarified that we were writing in Traditional Chinese characters, not the simplified characters used in mainland China. We don't mention that to say that it makes a difference, because for the most part they translate directly in computer langauge (as far as we know). Fortunately, Chinese Google speaks both.

When we typed "Human Rights China" (in Chinese) we got the sight, we got considerably different results (much like the search featured on BoingBoing). On google.com, we got the Human Rights Watch site for china. So we then decided to do that search in both googles and the results are presented above.

There are two interesting aspects pertaining to the Chinese Google. One, is that even though the Chinese search doesn't present any links, it still tells you how many sites it found: 4,300. The second curious thing is this, which you can see at the bottom of the page:

据当地法律法规和政策，部分搜索结果未予显示。

This says in effect, "Due to local laws, etc., we can't present the links relevant to this search." With the number of pages listed along with the fact that Google won't show them, there shouldn't be much doubt as to whether the people doing the searches know their is information being hidden from them or not (supposing they can read Chinese, obviously).

As an interesting comparison, we decided to do some searches on other subjects pertaining to the United states on various world Googles and see how it turned out (highest numbers highlighted):

War Crimes America - Google.com (31.9 million), Google.fr (102 million), Google.ru (32 million), Google.cn (7.68 million), google.ae (32 million), Google.com.br (76.5 million), Google.it (17.9 million)

Human rights America - Google. com (187 million), Google.fr (188 million), Google.ru (187 million), Google.cn (62.1 million), Google.ae (187 million), Google.com.br (188 million), Google.it (204 million)

Bush war crimes - Google.com (13.5 million), Google.fr (28.9 million), Google.ru (45.6 million), Google.cn (5.95 million), Google.ae (13.4 million), Google.com.br (28.9 million), Google.it (13.5 million)

Sites where the number of links were more or less the same:
Columbia coca plants agent orange
America white phosphorus Iraq
Bush Oil
America Rocks (a cool 17.5 million on almost every single Google)

If this shows one thing, it's the fact that France has more than THREE TIMES the sites on for "War Crimes America."

If this shows another thing, there was never one time that Google.com had the highest link count of the gang. There were times where the results were similar, but never were they more than, for the most part, China, with a few exceptions like Italy and Brazil.

We showed this as well, in an attempt to show that langauge changes things. For instance, searching Google.fr in French, there are only 390,000 results for "Bush war crimes" (compared to the huge 45.6 million in English).

We don't understand what determines the numbers, but there is no trend that we see, other than that the Arab Google is almost always exactly the same as regular Google and Chinese Google is always lower.

As to what in God's name this has to do with America, well we're not trying to say Super-free, American Google is censoring material from the watchful eye of the ever-vigilant American public. It's something that struck us in a conversation the other night on the subject of Google in China. The group at the table in the chic, over-priced Paris cafe were as follows: American, French, Chinese, Taiwanese, and South Korean.

After a time, my curiosity got the best of me, and I turned to the Chinese table-fellow. I asked my new sinofriend, "Do you know about Google in China? that they censor it?"

He paused for a second, then said, awkwardly, "Yeah, a little, but we're a huge country. You know we have 1.3 billion people?"

"Yes," I said.

"I think," he said, "You have to understand that Chinese people don't care much about politics." He laughed, "I mean there's only one party."

"Yes, I understand."

"I think it's necessary for the government to control certain things to keep things moving in the right direction."

"Yes, but," I hesitated because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, "Do you hear about journalists who are arrested and intimidated, even killed, for reporting corruption in the government?"

"We know a little," he said.

I got back on my soapbox. "I don't want to give you the impression that I'm criticizing you or your country. I think there are good and horrible things about every country" -- I didn't bother mentioning that Sweden is more or less perfect -- "but this has a direct effect on your life when your government doesn't tell you that pollution is so bad in cities that hundreds of thousands of people are dying."

I should mention that I said this in my improvised French, so Fanfan had to translate it into Chinese for him.

He just nodded after. I told him that I didn't mean to put him on the spot. Luna, the South Korean with us, said that in South Korea, they aren't allowed to look neither at sites with nudity or with homosexuality nor those that are in North Korea.

Something kept playing in my mind, through all of this. Is there something similar in the United States?

Well, the most recent Pew Research Center report shows (above) that a slight majority of Americans are okay with the NSA's warrantless wiretapping, as well as the Patriot Act. I hate to sound trite, but what's the difference when a Chinese person says that the government has the right to carry out it's actions behind a curtain in the name of national security and stability, though when an American says it, it's somehow different?

With so many Americans up in arms about Google's acquiessence to a corrupt Chinese government, why are the "patriots" in a model democracy not more than just a little ticked about the undemocratic exploits of their present government?

(to be continued)

Technorati tags: censorship, China, Google, Bush, NSA

This is why you don't do business in corrupt countries.

2006-01-30T18:27:00.000+01:00

(image from elaw.org)

We're not on the "your taking advantage of all of those poor people" bandwagon when it comes to Globalization. We're on the "You're hurting all of us when you do what you do, even those poor people" bandwagon.

Doing business in unstable, even chaotic, countries is bad for everyone involved. Unfortunately, many companies are slow on the uptake. It's hard to see how it's good for business to demand human rights.

Nigeria is a prime example of a country with natural resources that has been taken advantage of by outside companies, nations, etc. (not so different for the rest of Africa). It's generally perceived that the reasons that companies go into poorer, less-developed countries is that they want to eat off the backs of impoverished people. Well, in most cases that is and isn't true.

When it comes to oil, though, the business goes where the product is, and when people want oil they get it.

What many people don't see is the fact that when oil companies do business in unstable countries (i.e. Nigeria) they are paying more for the oil because the country is, oh, say, in a civil war.

This isn't the first time that rebel attacks and violence have endangered oil exports from Nigeria.

If people around the world don't start demanding human rights be a larger part of international commerce, their going to keep paying more for goods that come from unstable countries like Nigeria.

See: In Our Own Best Interest Schulz, The End of Poverty Sachs

Sometimes, it just feels like it's going to rain

2006-01-30T13:25:00.000+01:00

I was reading the Washington Post yesterday, and I just got a sick feeling in my stomach. Normally, the news in any newspaper is largely "sexy" material (war, corruption, Bush's feelings on Brokeback Mountain). The sexy is all that stuff that many people feel they shouldn't enjoy reading but they do. Not to mention that it's all that we can't do much about. Knowing, for instance, how many people have died in Iraq doesn't help us end the war, just like knowing Angelina Jolie used to wear a vile of Billy Bob Thorton's blood around her neck doesn't help us get any closer to her (trust us, we've tried...she didn't thank us for any of the blood we mailed her).

Well, yesterday, the headlines in the WP were both sexy and macabre:

Debate on Climate Shifts to Issue of Irreparable Change
Bush's Midterm Challenge
Hussein Trial Resumes, Quickly Descends Into Chaos (super sexy)
NASA Supporters Fear Bush May Cut Space Plan
Some Palestinians See End of Secular Dream
Peace Activists Threatened Anew
At Least 60 Killed in Poland Roof Collapse
Md. Corrections Officer Shot by Prisoner Who Took His Gun Dies
Mother, Child Critical After Being Hit by Car in Southeast
New Orleans Betrayed

These are not by any means all of the articles, however, this just struck me as an abnormally melancholy day: We're slowly being boiled alive in our own air; the one thing we had going for us in Iraq is falling apart; in addition to cutting so much from our science budget, Bush is going to cut NASA funding so that in thirty years the Chinese are going to be shooting us with death rays from the moon, the existence of Hamas is causing new problems in the Middle East (I refuse to say Hamas is causing problems, because they can't take all of the credit for their developement, i.e. extremism blossoms in certain environments), people are being kidnapped again in Iraq, and New Orleans isn't being rebuilt.

Those are all articles, I think, that are worth knowing, but that doesn't mean they're not sexy. What are you going to do about Saddam's trial?

As for the poor people in Poland and the Mom/son hit by a car, what good does that do for anyone? Where is the enlightenment? It just seems absurd to print stories like that. We didn't send Angie those viles of blood so that she could start a collection, we wanted her! In the same sense, newspapers shouldn't exist to present us with sorrowful stories just because we're sick enough to read them.

I'm getting somewhere with this...just bare with me.

Technorati Tags: journalism, Washington Post, Saddam, Hussein, Bush, Science, NASA, Terrorism, Hamas, Iraq

China: Some Big Questions about the World's Fourth Largest Economy

2006-01-27T12:28:00.000+01:00

Well, those of us at the Bow and Grimace Paris Bureau will be celebrating the Chinese New Year tomorrow and the 5th of February. Though the tradition goes back at least a millenium to another time when China had far surpassed Europe in technology, administrative organization, and philosophy, the present celebration comes on what could be a new era for China. An era in which they regain their standing as (one of) the world's most powerful nation(s).

We've been trying to keep track of all the developements, and we'd like to offer some of the biggest questions that could, if unanswered, empede or break China's present romp to the top:

Child Theft Racket Growing in China

Some of the stolen children are babes in arms. In July, 52 ring members were convicted in the southern region of Guangxi after 28 baby girls, none older than 3 months, were found drugged and bound in nylon duffel bags on a long-distance bus. One died; the rest were taken to an orphanage.

The reasons for the terrible growth industry in child trafficking are as varied as they are disturbing. In a country that earns millions of dollars a year from foreign adoptions, some children end up abroad. Others remain in the country, especially in rural China, where having a son is still seen as a must for inheritance, carrying on the family line and tending relatives' graves. But girls are also in demand in areas where men significantly outnumber women, as wives, caregivers for older relatives and for families that already have boys...

...The government has another incentive to downplay the problem: lucrative overseas adoptions. The United States and other Western countries refuse to allow adoptions involving baby-selling.

China Lowers Its HIV/AIDs Figures

China now believes it has about 650,000 people living with HIV, according to a joint statement by the health ministry, World Health Organization and UNAids.
In 2003 the government estimated that 840,000 people had the virus.
But with 70,000 new HIV infections last year, the crisis shows no signs of abating, the statement said.

New Struggle in China: Keeping Up With the Chans

"Things have gone from all ideology and no materialism to all materialism and no ideology or values," notes veteran China watcher Laurence Brahm, owner of the Red Capital Club in Beijing. "Expectations are a big phenomenon. The '80s were about idealism. Now the talk is 'what brand are you using?' Urban China is about keeping up with the Joneses, or the Chans, in this case."

Too Fast in China?

Yet the news also increased concern that China could be growing too fast, despite measures aimed at cooling the hottest parts of the economy. Aggressive investment has produced too many factories, heightening trade tensions with the United States as China exports surplus wares such as steel, depressing prices globally. Chinese officials worry that unneeded plants could deliver a crippling era of deflation -- falling prices -- which hurts profits and reduces incentives for companies to invest. Such a syndrome kept Japan mired in recession and unemployment for much of the past 16 years.

Research: Pollution Limiting Sunny Days in China

China's skies have darkened over the past 50 years, possibly due to haze resulting from a nine-fold increase in fossil fuel emissions, according to researchers from the U.S. Department of Energy.

We're not trying to detract from the incredible feet the Chinese seem to be pulling off. We're just saying that this change is going to offer China so much, including a whole set of new problems it didn't expect. China is still largely imbalanced, with most of it's wealth along the coastal cities in the East, while most of the western areas of the vast country are impoverished and uneducated. Pollution, until recently, was considered a Western manipulation, created to hold China down.

Societal mores still keep Chinese from honestly talking about AIDs and other STDs, and -- last we saw -- some 60% of Chinese don't know that smoking is unhealthy.

Technorati tags: China, society, Environment, Globalization

Honey, take the blinders off the horses. We're taken the kids to Europe!

2006-01-23T21:47:00.000+01:00

This probably isn't the type of subject that's going to find it's way into the next Thomas Friedman book (The World is Round....Supple, and Sans Tanlines), but different concepts of nudity and how much/often it's accceptable is worth a look.

My first time living abroad (and outside of an anglo-saxon tradition) started only days before Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction. I didn't hear about it from the news, though. I was told by a professor from my university in the US who was on sabatical in the town of Angers, where I was studying. He mentioned it, laughingly, telling me that the French just don't understand what the big deal is.

"Why not?" I asked, thinking to myself that Janet Jackson's breast on TV was a huge deal (I didn't know at the time the boob was dressed in some sort of metalurgy).

My professor took me and the other students who were with us, out to the street and pointed to a billboard down the block. We four American students stood dumbfounded at the 10ft tall billboard advertisement for Elle magazine. All it had was a completely nude Heidi Klum facing the camera and hiding nothing.

I started to get the point.

By the next month, it was Laetitia Costa on the beach in the buff who was selling magazines for Elle, and I was much better aclimated. For instance, the family I lived with didn't have cable, but on the five channels they got, I had already been presented the masterpeice of cinematography Showgirls on prime time television, completely uncut and uncensored.

That's just the most obvious, example though. You could be watching TV at any time during the day and see someone naked. The commercial for the new information telephone number (their 411), shows a guy butt-naked, sunning on his roof. Soap comercials don't hide the fact that the girl is naked in the shower.

More so, I was recently looking up a video for the Dakar article we wrote, and I realized that TF1, the equivalent of CBS or NBC in the US, has a "sexy" section on the video page where one can perouse videos, photo galleries, and such. Can you imagine CBS doing that?

It even involves kids (Mr. Robertson, get the 700 Club ready). One of the newest animated films in France came out to much acclaim here in France (around the same time as Chicken Little). The film is called Kirikou et les bêtes sauvages ("Kirikou and the savages beasts," more or less) and it's set in Africa. The thing is: as much as kids in America may or may not like this film, it will never come out there unless the animated breasts are covered. The animated tribal breasts must be covered before our children are corrupted!

See what I'm getting at?

Even in the metro here in Paris (Tuileries), there is Josephine Baker in all her glory.

It's not just in France either, it's everywhere in continental Western Europe, more or less. Though, to be fair, France is somewhat more saturated with nudity that other countries.
What affects does this have on these soulless Europeans? Well, I guess part of it might be a loss of sex drive chez les français. Otherwise, there is a lower uccurance of reported rape in France. There is a similar divorce rate. These things are hard to compare. One thing's for sure though, they don't go crazy over nudity. It's not taboo.

Fine, so why is this significant? Well, it's something that people all over the world are having to face: other people's values. When an American, Asian, Middle-easterner comes to France and sees naked people everywhere, it's an assault to his or her values. That person is then forced to either think that all the people of that country are sinful and hedonistic or that the rules of his own country are a little ridiculous.

The internet has started to that in many Arab countries already. In a place where some people still question still question whether you can be nude during intercourse, people are starting to go online and see that some people are nude, well, all the time.

This, like views on alcohol, will be a serious issue for many people. I can't say how many time's I've been in a bar or pub in Europe and seen 18 year-old Americans getting ripped just because they can finally do it legally. I would imagine that the same thing, in some form or another, happens when some people come from closed societies to those which are more open, like many in Europe (Holland, for example). This is the clash of cultures.

Technorati tags: society, sex, religion, Europe, Paris, France, society, nudity

Why not accept a truce from bin Laden?

2006-01-20T12:38:00.000+01:00

(UPDATE, 25 January: "Why not test bin Laden's 'truce' offer?" Christian Science Monitor)

"In a sense, [the terrorists] were more globalized than we were." -Report of the 9-11 Commision, Chapter 11

The first google news search we did yesterday of the most recent Osama tape returned headlines saying, in some way or another, "Osama Promises New Attack on US soil." At the time, the news was still fresh, so only a few articles had been written.

The reason we bother bringing this up is that we're somewhat surprised that the articles seem to downplay so much the truce offer from everyone's favorite terrorist:

I offer a cease-fire on basis of mutual respect, but you will not allow it because the arms manufacturers and warmongers will not allow it.

Surely we're overstepping the bounds of freedom of speech when we ask, Why the hell can't we even consider an offering of peace from Osama "Yo Mama" bin Laden? By all accounts he is a terrorist responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent people. That's true, which is why our line of questioning should not be construed in any way as support for (a) "the terrorists" (b) murder (c) al-Quada or as (a) anti-American (b) anti-Israel (c) anti-freedom (d) anti-democracy.

Well, being devoted to the contrapuntalists (an idea that made someone some friends at the FBI), we've dared ourselves to present another side of Osama bin Laden. It goes without saying, this is not a love letter to al-Quada, this is simply an endeavor in reason, because it is an undeniable fact that two contrary images of bin Laden exist, and only one, by and large, has been presented to the West. Knowing both sides, without pridefully or childishly ignoring the fact that Osama could have some honorable aspects, could help the US and the West resolve their problems in the Middle East, get American troops home, and go about dealing with the problems that exist in their countries.

Like the guy who played Patton in Patton said to the guy who played Rummel, "You magnificent bastard, I read your book!" It only makes sense to know your enemy, and the United States does not.

That said, don't bother prostesting this article unless you have read it and you have insightful arguments. We are always happy to be wrong, especially about things like this. If we find that we have been sufficiently rebutted, we will happily retract our statements.

For those of you who will think this unpatriotic, most of this information (not to mention the idea itself) came from the book Imperial Hurbis by Michael Scheuer, a former CIA agent with over two decades of service to the US. In fact, he started the CIA's bin Laden unit. If it is dishonorable to one's nation to have a real impression of the enemy (in order to look Through Our Enemies Eyes so to speak.) then tell that to him.

Osama the Freedom hater
Many will remember the President's State of the Union address in which he said:

Americans are asking, why do they hate us? They hate what we see right here in this chamber -- a democratically elected government. Their leaders are self-appointed. They hate our freedoms -- our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other.
They want to overthrow existing governments in many Muslim countries, such as Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Jordan. They want to drive Israel out of the Middle East. They want to drive Christians and Jews out of vast regions of Asia and Africa.

Well, at least he's half right. Osama bin Ladin does want in many respects to rid the Middle East of Jews and Christians as well as overthrow the regimes mentioned in the second paragraph. As for the latter, he views them as corrupt (which they are), and he despises that their constant abuse of the Muslim people. That's one of the reasons he repeats as to why he is fighting the United States: He wants the US to stop propping up corrupt Muslim dictators!

As states this article from the BBC:

There was, however, one significant element missing from his list of grievances: he did not say anything about the idea of America - its rights, its freedoms, its prosperity. It was in American foreign policy that he saw the greatest threat to Islam. Indeed, he criticised the west for supporting dictators and authoritarian regimes in Islamic countries simply because it suited their interests.

To add to that, this is one bin Laden's stong points. In a region lacking compassionate leaders, bin Ladin is seen as the only hope for millions of people. As long as the US and the West let Muslim leaders rule their people with an iron fist, bin Laden, dead or alive, will give Muslim people hope.

Characterizing bin Ladin and al-Quada as a group that hates freedom is as Mike Sheuer says "one of the greatest dangers for Americans in deciding how to confront the Islamist threat" (p. 8). He goes on to remind us that the soviets, who not only were godless but also frequently tortured and killed Muslims within their borders, never inspired more than disdain from Muslims in the Middle East, much less Jihad. The mujahadeen didn't start fighting the Russians until the Russians tried to move into the Holy Land.

In addition, let's not forget Ayatollah Khomeini. Though most Muslims agreed with him that the West was morally depraved, few ever took part in the Jihad or gave their lives to fighting the US. In other words, "Khomeini's rhetoric was full of noise, hate, and fury, but with minor exceptions, it motivated few battlew to the death against the Great Satan" (p. 211)

This is not a war of values. Al-Quada has little problem letting people around the world be whatever they are, just not in their Holy Land. This is a war over terratory, plain and simple.

On top of that, Muslims, from many accounts, would love democracy. Pew polls from 2003 show that Muslims have a largely favorable view of Democracy, especially before the invasion of Iraq. So, why all the popular support for Osama if he was against what the Muslim people wanted?

Perplexing...

Osama: an armed Pat Robertson in a cave
Let us turn again to Scheuer (p. 17):

There is nothing apocalyptic or narcissistic about bin Laden or our Islamist foes. They are not trying to destroy the world in an Armageddon-like battle, and they are not psychologically deranged people prone to and delighting in the muder of innocents...bin Laden and his ilk also are not motivated by the "failure of Muslim society" to modernize and evolve in the successful pattern of the West.

Well damn.

Continue, Mr. Scheuer, sir (p. 17-18):

Bin Laden et al. are not eternal warriors, there is no evidence they are fighting for fightin's sake, or that they would be lost for things to do without a war to wage. There is evidence to the contrary, in fact, showing bin Laden and other Islamist leaders would like to end the war, get back to their families, and live a less martial lifestyle. They share the attitude of the Afghan mujahideen during the Afghan-Soviet war: They are weary of war, but not war weary...In both cases, participating in a defensive Jihad was a duty to God and therefore had to be pursued until victory or martyrdom.

Then, perhaps the most interesting part of all this, is that there's a very Robin Hood-esque image of bin Laden in the Muslim world. He gave up a rich life to live poor, spending his money to fight "Goliaths" like the USSR and the US. To be more exact, Scheuer characterizes his image among Muslims as a "combination of Robin Hood and St. Francis of Assisi."

This Scheuer guy really hates America, doesn't he?

In fact, bin Ladin's so loved that not only will millions of poor people not turn him in for a $25 million reward but also he has to convince people to leave his side, many in tears, when he knows an attack is coming. The fact that al-Qaeda often knows exactly what the US will do is a good example of their being globalized, and their ability to spread out before a hit is efficient. As the senior al-Qaeda field commander Abd al-Hadi said, though, "We had a great difficulty persuading many of them to leave Afghanistan...I swear some of them wept when they were told to leave."

Scheuer notes that though Saddam was hated by most Muslims for his secularism and brutality, he was also lauded for being the guy who pissed America's plate. On the other hand, bin Laden is not only a religous man and compassionate towards Muslims, he also provided a blow to the US infinitely more powerful than Saddam ever had, giving him the image of "a modern day Saladin." Afghan kids suck on bin Laden sugar candies, and "Osama" is one of the most common names in for new born males.

al-Qaeda's offers of truce
CBS had the former FBI terrorism expert Christopher Whitcomb on The Early Show yesterday, to tell us that this tape was "insignificant."

What's hard to discern is if the tape is insignificant because it's going to be passed off like all of the others just to be used as a political tool, which is likely, or if it's not important in and of itself. Mr. Whitcomb may be right, maybe this is all just a vain attempt by Osama to regain standing in the now overpopulated terrorism brotherhood. However, there's a link on that same page to old Mr. Scheuer who "sees things very differently."

Scheuer, that anti-American bastard, seems to think, like The B&G, that we should have given the truce more consideration. We'd like to pause here to remind you that Scheuer created the CIA's bin Laden Unit and spent three of his 22-year career as an agent working there.

This offering of truce is certainly not the first. There have been several occassions, as are mentioned in Imperial Hubris, in which bin Laden says if the Americans reduce their presence in the Middle East, then al-Quada will reply in kind.

As for those who say that there have not been attacks and equate that with success against bin Laden, we'd like to point out that al-Qaeda has attacked 18 of 20 nations that it said it would attack. They are pretty good at keeping to their word.

Our purpose in writing this is not to say that the US should have accepted the truce, but that there should have been more consideration. "We don't negotiate with terrorists, we put them out of business," is absurd as a response to a truce from an enemy that up until now has completely defeated the United States.

If anything, Americans must start being more honest with themselves and take note that Osama, though he is responsible for the death of thousands of innocents, he is reveared by millions, and, as Scheuer shows, not without reason. Osama has renounced wealth and by many accounts has shown that he has no fear of even losing his own life to defeat those who oppress Muslims (his POV, not ours). He criticizes youths who are complacent, calls women to participate, etc. On top of that, he is a poet, deeply connected with the Muslim tradition.

Americans, especially the most Patriotic, must have an honest idea of the American enemy if they ever which to defeat him. To deny that is absurd. If Osama is not a psychotic hater of freedom, the US must accept that, which also means an honest consideration of some kind of truce, or a negotiation thereof.

Technorati tags: society, globalization, politics, Bush, terrorism, Osama, War on Terrorism, patriotism

Ruminations about Osama's newest hit video...

2006-01-19T18:12:00.000+01:00

As we are not in the US, we cannot say with any certainty what the coverage is like over the most recent bin Laden tape. This will not stop us from making several assumptions based on the predictability of all sadists/masochists who are in charge of either conveying the news or making decisions based on what is happening in the Bin Laden Land.

The liberals will shake their heads and brandish their disdain with the wag of a finger, "Tisk, tisk, tisk, republicans, conservatives." They will make certain that the Republicans know that this is all their fault: Republican war-mongering, republican big-business hugs and kisses, etc.
Then, the blind-unquestioning-patriotism-first-reason-second group (having missed the initial report because they were watching Access Hollywood reruns) will run with clenched fists to the Patriot cave to get supplies: flag to drape over children, flag with mini-pole to stick in the bed of their F-150 so that terrorists won't attack while they are driving to KFC (for extra measure, they'll put in a Toby Keith CD and play it really loud), a pistol, duck-tape, and a Bill O' Reilly autographed Bible.
As for old Bill himself and his clones, this will certainly be fuel for one of several soap-box office rants (you know, to keep the kids at home entertained): (1) this is more reason why the peaceniks and pinheads need to shut up about the war because the enemy's still out there, (2) Bush needs to keep spying on Americans because these guys are still in the US, (3) remember what I told all you homos in San Francisco...
As for the media in general, we're quite certain that a number of reporters and network execs have spent the day in an almost sexual frenzy. This is good for business, you know, the more scared Americans are, the more they depend on us to show them any number of "experts" and "officials" who repeat the mantra, "Well, we're not exactly sure where, when, how..." because even though "I don't know" isn't news, it's still comforting for every American to know that he's not the only one.
Then, the millions of other Americans who are too busy, too apathetic, too intelligent to pay attention to Hannity and Colmes, or too prudent to immediately judge this as one thing or another, they will go about their lives. Those people do exist.

So, the question remains, what should be done? Unfortunately, we here at the B&G are in no position to be counselling people on how to go about their daily lives. However, assuming all of us together are at least equally qualified as Ann Coulter, we will give it a shot:

Immediately discredit anything said by someone with a political agenda. This covers everyone from Michael Moore to Rush Limbaugh. Look at their sources, if they give them, but don't listen to their analysis. We're all big boys and girls, we can make our own descisions.
Get all news from several sources. This limits the amount of "spin."
Read up on your Plato (start with the Gorgias), start thinking about a teleological approach to these problems. Not just what's good right now, but perhaps what's good in the long run. This also applies to all the "cookery" of guys like Colmes, Carlson, Coulters, etc.
Consider learning another language and travelling to places other than Europe. If you have (and you enjoyed), consider convincing others to do the same. We'd even encourage you to perhaps talk to people who live in the places you visit. Pretty buildings are great, but they don't really offer much insight on our current state of affairs. (NOTE: We're not patronizing you, we're being serious. It happens all to often that we ask people just home from vacation, "and what were the people like," to which, nine times out of ten, the answer is, "Oh, we didn't talk much to them.")

These are just some hints from people who have no standing to be giving hints. We, for starters, have never been asked to say that on TV (not even public radio, for that matter). Take it all with a grain of salt.

The Democratization of Knowledge

2006-01-18T15:48:00.000+01:00

We here at The Bow and Grimace have long held the idea that the internet will bring about an era not unlike that off the Enlightenment in 18th century England. Would even argue that the same Enlightenment is still unravelling and that the internet is just the next stage, a further democritization of information.

One major example of this is in the facility of blogging. Very much like the pamphleteers of the time -- Defoe, Swift, Paine, and, of course, our namesake Addison -- we believe that blogs will be a leveling mechanism in the discussions of world progression. It is, of course, information that is most dangerous to those who want to control. Information is the worst enemy of dictators and tyrrants, and thus the facilitation of its diffusion will be their end. Sure, there are examples where certain repressive governments have been effective at continuing to surpress information (e.g. China), but even in those cases this control has become progressively more strenuous.

This is the core of our cautious optomism regarding globalization.

That said, we're still not comfortable with the name blog. That's why we're not a blog, we're a journal. Our reason? Well, we don't really have one, other than it seems trite or melodramatic to say that something called a "blog" could change the world on a large scale. We'd rather clench our fists and hold our heads high as we proclaim for all corners of the world, "The repressed will learn, the confined will have an audience of millions, and the poor will be compensated," and we'd preder to do this without using the word blog, since it just makes the whole thing sound like humanity itself will crush dictatorships with pluff mud or rotten tree bark.

In light of this and the fact that we're currently revamping The B&G, we've started to provide links to "journals" from different regions around the world. We're still working on this, so don't be surprised when you see there's a whole continent missing.

We've also added blogs that are specifically about globalization. This is essentially the "new" focus of The B&G. We'd like to present perspectives of globalization that are either latent or reticent in current reporting or is completely neglected in all reporting.

Without further ado, the new links are to the right. Knock yourself out. Test us, we dare you.

Technorati tags: society, Democracy, globalization, blogs

The Dakar Rally: a culural collision worth noting on so many levels...

2006-01-16T16:37:00.000+01:00

We here at The Bow and Grimace are all very conscious of the benefits of a good work out, body and soul, but we're a bit skeptical about the benefits of off-road racing, as far as sports go. Then again, fishing's a sport.

We must also admit a guilty pleasure in watching the Dakar Rally from Lisbon to Dakar. If we had the money to buy one of those big trucks and we had an entire continent in which to bounce and tossel, we would likely gleefully let the romping begin. However, we don't pay much attention to offroad events, we just pause for a second before we change the channel when there's a story about one of the races.

That said, we were shocked a couple of days ago to see a news report about a boy who was hit by one of trucks. Up until that point, we had only seen fleeting images of thirtysome boys who were paid millions of their respective currencies to drive cars quickly over hills.

This report (which we can no longer locate) was about a Senegalese boy hit by one of the passing trucks as the race went through town, yet the images in the report were incredible. The contrast was almost palpable: hundreds of people with skin blacker than tar lining the sides of a dirt track that seemed to slice straight through their village of circular huts made of sticks and tree limps. The report showed many of the women who seemed to have walked straight out of National Geographic with all their colorful tribal garb. Then, like a giant mechanical Cheetah, comes one of these 21st century behemoths, churning up the rust-colored dust behind it.

As expected, the trucks just sped past the hoards of people, and we're not criticizing that. What we would agree with though, is some of the criticism we've seen in researching this race. It's incredible the way these people can just hurdle themselves as they wish across Africa. One French journal notes, "To give credit and good conscious to this indecent rally, the organizers have evoked a certain word of valour to Europeans and especially dear to the French: Humanitarian." This is obviously a reference to the humanitarian efforts outlined by the organizers outlined here.

The idea that this race is a tradition "indécent" is echoed by many French organizations and websites.

We don't want to be overly symbolic or presumptuous, but this seems to be a good example of
a cultural collision that is no longer acceptable (not that it ever should have been, but it was). Imagine if the organizers had said, "We'll give you a new street sweeper if you let us fly through Paris one day next week. We're not sure when exactly, but sometime." There would surely have been some sort of outcry about the audacity of the organizers to think they could just buy Paris like that.

Perhaps, it's a bad comparison, but the point is there.

This is more of a note than an article, perhaps.

This is just plain funny: Condi Rice reprimands Russia because she's sexually frustrated.

2006-01-14T18:40:00.000+01:00

Let us preface this by saying we have a great respect for Condoleeza Rice. Though we don't agree with many of her political decisions, she has in many cases worked behind the scenes to negotiate certain agreements that otherwise would never have materialized. She is in large part culturally savy (perhaps the most cultured of the whole Bush Administration).

That said, we just read this and found it very amusing. The Russian newspaper Pravda has an article that basically blames Condi's recent reproach of the Russian government for its oil fight with Urkraine on her sexual frustration.

Take a look...

(Photo complements of watchingamerica.com)

Technorati tags: society, Condoleeza, rice, Condi, Russia,

Boobs, Beads, and Old Glory: Globalized Patriotism and Debauchery

2006-01-14T16:21:00.000+01:00

I personally do not believe in burning the flag. It’s a personal belief, but I’ll tell you something, I think people are overreacting, oh, just a little bit:

Random Person: “Hey buddy, my daddy died for that flag.”
Bill Hicks: "Well, shit really?—- I bought mine. Sorry. You know they sell them at K-Mart for three bucks. You’re in, you’re out, brand new flag, no violence was necessary."
Random Person: “Hey buddy, my daddy died in the Korean war for that flag.”
Bill Hicks: "What a coincidence – my flag was made in Korea!"

Bullshit! – He didn’t die for the flag. It’s a piece of cloth. He died for what the flag represents, which is the freedom – to burn the’ fucking flag ”

– Bill Hicks

Well, it seems that you can't even talk about patriotism or soulless debauchery anymore without talking about how it's related to some third world country that will soon be hiring Americans to do it's unskilled labor in the factories of Alabama and South Carolina.

We here at the B&G spend quite a bit of our time trying to understand the idea of Patriotism. On the surface, it's not very hard to understand why people love their homeland (to use the term the post-9/11 US Government has used, despite it's Cold-War Russia connotations), however, it is hard to understand how so many people can ascribe themselves to the Pop-Patriotism of the last four years. If you're not familiar with Pop-Patriotism, here are the general guidelines:

He who has the most "Let's Roll" eagle stickers, "We Support Our Troops" yellow ribbons, and "9-11, We Won't Foget" stickers smathered all over his SUV is a hero of the American way. Though anyone with reason knows that selling the SUV and fighting for better health care for wounded troops (that is supporting the troops, is it not?) would be truly patriotic, Pop-Patriotism says, "Hey, don't worry, this is the US. Okay? We rock."
We must, for the sake of Pop-Patriotism, write songs like "Osama Yo Mama" or "Courtesy of Red, White, and Blue," which are essentially empty, narcissistic anthems to make people comfortable with the idea that the US is unvanquishable. Don't get The B&G wrong, we are not anti-American, we're any jingoism. You see, true patriotism would be calling people to pitch in (not go shopping). Patriotism would be doing your part: Learning languages of "critical" need so that US intelligence agencies could translate the backlog of documents waiting to be read by someone who speaks Arab, calling on people to stop buying diamonds because they are good untrackable currency for terrorists, calling on your government representatives to support research on renewable energy because Saudi Arabia is not a government to be trusted (besides, they're probably running out of oil anyway), and just do little things like turning off your lights and TV when you're not using them.
Pop-patriotism links marijuana to terrorism, while poppies in Afghanistan are the problem.
Pop-patriots call those who bring to light damaging information concerning the exploits of American and her government "Anti-American." This way they can close their eyes.

These are just a fiew aspects of Pop-patriotism. We feel it imperative (regarding the sensitive nature of the subject) to repeat that we are not condemning patriotism in all it's forms. That said, however, we feel that Patriotism to any one country is becoming physically impossible because there is no country that holds all, or most, of it's interests within its borders: Americans' tax forms are completed in India, The Simpsons is drawn in South Korea, changing daylight-savings in the US could reek havoc on numerous enterprises (namely the airline business) both inside and outside the US without exception, China's anchoring it's currency to the Euro instead of the dollar could be catastrophic, Mexico's hot peppers come from China. So, for the first time in history, every countries interests are in every country.

Shittake...

This brings up an interesting point concerning the flag-waving patriots who like to let everyone else carry out the business of their country while they talk about how AWESOME it is: Ever wondered, with so many factory jobs being off-shored, where so many American flags and bumperstickers are made? I mean, if you're going to paste a big Old Glory on the bumper of your car, you want the money you spend for that sticker to go to an American company with American workers, right?

Too bad. I decided to do a search and f ound several very interesting articles about where exactly the flags are made (we'll give you one guess): China. Yes, the country that has just decided to make life-sized, toy cars and whose economy has already started overtaking those of certain European countries has been making Old Glories since around the time of the big flag boom just after 9-11.

So think about that, when you're buying your American flags. Does it really mean something? Or do actions really speak louder than words/symbols?

For the college kids in the family (or people that just want to see breasts), I also found this interesting tidbit (thanks to OneGoodMove.org). Here's the trailor for Mardi Gras: Made in China (Warning: If your government, God, or Parents feel that seeing nudity will in some way cause you to do badly on the SATs, toil eternally in a pit of fire, or go cross-eyed, we encourage you not to follow the link, because there are some boobs). It is a documentary showing the factories in China where the beads for Mardi Gras in New Orleans are made.

This works to show several issues of globalization. One, something that's probably not the first to come to mind, is the fact that Katrina was probably a catastrophe for the people who worked in this factory, since Mardi Gras this year will probably be far less festive. So, in that sense, Katrina has dealt a bad hand to factory workers in China. See how it's all connected now?

We're not ignoring the horrible conditions of the workers at all, either. We're hardly going to say that Globalization is bad as a result, because all that mess is a consequence of the Washington Consensus (Those are two different links. For the second one, you have to watch an add first before you can read it).

Technorati tags: society, globalization, China, Mardi Gras, boobs, outsourcing, Made in China, patriotism, American Flag

Oh, you whacky Taiwanese...

2006-01-13T12:49:00.000+01:00

(Photo from the BBC article cited below...we have not yet purchased any flourescent pigs)

In light of South Korea's recent scientific shocker, we were sort of down about the prospects of stem cell advancement. This is largely because Asia seems to us to be the only place in the world which in general has no religious barriers to jump in studying things like stem-cells. Learning that the Korean discovery was all a hoax, left us thinking, "If only a country (or quasi-country) could create a group of flourescent pigs so as to study the human diseases and how they act in our bodies...man, that would be cool."

Low and behold, the Lord hath smiled upon us, and on the tiny island "nation" once called Formosa. God said, "Let there be flourescent pigs, so that man may track the diseases I created which kill the other things I created. And it was good."

NOTE: "God" is not used here in it's Biblical context. We are simply narrating for the imaginary Jerry Falwell/Pat Robertson/Freddy Phelps "God" who assasinates Latin American dictators, makes milkshakes, aids terrorists because he hates certain people, wipes out Swedish people with a tsunami for not hating gay people, and smites towns for voting against intelligent design.

That God is really funny with the prophets he chooses.

Nobel Prize winning Economist: Iraq War may cost over $2 Trillion

2006-01-10T20:43:00.000+01:00

(Photo from Aljazeera.com....because we're with the terrorists....that was so totally a joke...the picture really is from Aljazeera.com, though)

Forget that little counter on the right side of the screen, a study released yesterday by the Nobel Prize winning economist Joseph Stiglitz (weren't we just talking about his guy?) says that the cost of the Iraq war could exceed $2 trillion by factoring in the long term costs of things like healthcare for wounded soldiers (remember all that "We support our troops stuff"?).

I'm sure this "Stiglitz" guy is just some anti-war hippy whose just bitter that we're scaring the hell out of people who hate freedom. These guys are just looking for ways to make Democracies hard to build.

Wait a minute. Two trillion dollars? Flashback: Mitch Daniels, pre-War 2003, the now-former White House Budget dude (official title), shrugged off $100 - $200 Billion as "likely very, very high," and predicted that the "affordable endeavor" would be about would cost a pretty $50 to $60 Billion.

Oh...Those were the days, weren't they?

Here's some details about the study:

The higher $2 trillion amount takes a 'moderate' approach. Both figures are based on the projection that US troops will remain in Iraq until 2010, with steadily decreasing numbers each year. The economists also used government data from past wars, and included such costs as the rise in the price of oil, a larger US deficit and greater global insecurity caused by the war, the loss to the economy from injured veterans who cannot contribute as productively as they would have done if not injured, and the increased costs of recruiting to replenish a military drained by repeated tours of duty in Iraq. These are items which are almost never included by the US government when determining the cost of the war.

I mean, seriously, when are these people going to stop criticizing our war president. Doesn't he know that even if the information is bad, you're not supposed to present it until after the war. Doesn't he know the sacrifices Bush has made for this country.

Sorry, this has turned into a rant. How very unprofessional.

To be fair, there are people who recognize this obvious liberal "pooh-poohing" campaign.

Democracy is on the march, holes are being smoked out. All that stuff.

The Most Ignored Aspect of Globalization: Wikipedia four faults to Britannica's three

2006-01-09T17:30:00.000+01:00

As incredibly unfashionable as it is these days to be pro-globalization, we've got good news: Between 1950 and 1999, global literacy increased from 52% to 81% of the world.

That's not actually the reason we're writing this, but we just went to wikipedia and typed "fashionable." That got us a bunch of boring stuff about clothes, imagine that, and some guy named Albrecht Dürer, who's damned funny looking (He's that guy to the left who looks like Tori Amos).

We've never heard of him, but apparently he was an important guy. He wrote back and forth Raphael, it seems.

Anywho, we let that go, not that interesting. That's not to say that it's not important, we're just not into apocalyptic painters from the Renaissance, but the next time Dürer comes up in passing conversation, we'll say, "Oh, the guy who wrote Vier Bücher von menschlicher Proportion. Yeah, we've only read both of his books."

From there, we looked up globalization and found the quote about literacy, among many other "pro-globalization" positions. That's where we found the picture of the mock American flag.

Where is this going? Well, we've been touting Wikipedia for quite some time, though only quietly amongst ourselves for the most part. You see the knowledge contained in Wikipedia is sizable, free, and completely democratic.

We've been considering as a result the idea that Wikipedia could be the Internet version of the European coffeehouses in the 17th and 18th centuries, which were hotbeds for the blossoming juggernaut that is now known as the Enlightenment.

Now, however, despite our almost constant hesitation in saying anything with any degree of certainty, we are screaming it from the cyber-optic rooftops: Wikipedia is a symbol of good globalization. In an article in the Christian Science Monitor today explained how the journal Nature did a study and found that Wikipedia on average had about four faults to Britannica's three. These faults are "factual errors, critical omissions, or misleading statements."

This is exactly what we assumed the case would be. Though people often say, "Well, how could you trust an encyclopedia compiled by a bunch of random people?" Our response is always, "Do you love something?" If the person says no, then we sigh and concede the argument. If, however, the person says yes, we smile and we ask what it is they love, praying that they don't say, "I love model airplanes," or, "I love disliking encyclopedias compiled by random people." Let's say he says, "I love fishing."

We smile gleefully and rap rapturously on our keys. To present the two points, we would first address the issue of misleading information. "What would you say," we ask our subject, "If someone wrote, concerning catch and release, "Most people dissaprove of catch and release because it hurts the fish and it does very little good to the environment." Obviously, the person would want to edit the entry for catch and release, supplying reasons why catch and release is beneficial to the environement and why it is an enjoyable sport.

We would then say, to emphasize this point, the more contreversial the subject matter of an entry (i.e. Globalization, President Bush, Osama bin Laden, etc.) the more accurate the article will probably be, because I'll be damned if a liberal is going to let a conservative say, "George Bush saved America, and the world, from certain destruction by invading Iraq." The liberal will then change the entry to include references from CIA agents in the field who have become outspoken critics of the decision to invade Iraq, but he'll also call Republicans "poo-faces." So some kind-hearted person will then come along and erase "poo-faces."

For point number two, we will ask, "Did you know that for some 1300 years, Chinese in some areas have been using commorants to fish? Have you heard of the water dogs in Portugal? If our subject has an inquisitive bone in his body, he will want to know.

We are cognizant of the fact that this will seem like we're making mountains out of molehills, but we can't stress the fact that, in large part, the Enlightenment was a result in a widening of the swath of people that information could reach. The internet poses the same possibility, though on a scale exponentially larger.

The CS Minitor article hints to the sort of possibilities we are talking about:

Serbs and Croats are also working together on Wikipedia articles, he says. So are mainland Chinese and Taiwanese, who have created about 51,000 articles so far. The Chinese Wikipedia is currently blocked from view in mainland China, something the foundation is trying to address.

Reaching the poorest parts of the world that lack Internet connections may mean burning versions of Wikipedia onto CDs or, coming full circle, even printing the encyclopedia out on paper.

What it all comes down to is that in the Enlightenment, there was no other check on whether knowledge was bonified or not: other knowledgeable people. We've learn time and time again that putting strict rules in place to curb factuality in some of the world largest information organizations hasn't stopped false information from being produced (see the recent South Korean scientist who lied about his stem cell research, "Rathergate," that NY Times writer a couple of years ago who plagiarized his stories (I had forgotten his name, so I typed plagiarism in Wikipedia, and found his name at the bottom).

Lastly, we'd like to stress that we are not trying to get people to accept Wikipedia as a valid source, but as a starting point. When searching for information on any subject, from Ronald McDonald (SIDENOTE: it was searching for the origins of RM that I found out the US, Hammas and various other organizations had started making video games to entice kids to sign up) to Globish, Wikipedia is likely to give you at least a taste of each perspective of the subject, as well as perhaps some things you had never thought of before. As one of the creaters of Wikipedia put it, "I think an enormous number of problems in the world are just caused by a lack of information, a lack of understanding, a lack of reflection." Amen. Godspeed you beautiful globalizers of information.

How the World Works

2006-01-07T19:23:00.000+01:00

By accident, while doing some research today, we came across the business/commerce related version of what we hope The Bow and Grimace can one day become (after our current revamping). You may say, "What other side of globalization is there that isn't related to business and commerce." To that, we'd say, "Exactly, our point."

Ask our namesake, old man Addison, for a hint. It's probably the only timeless aspect of globalization.

It's a column at Salon.com written by Andrew Leonard called "How the World Works." Right off from the first article, as of this writing, he references nobel prize winning economist Joseph Stiglitz (whom we've referenced several times) and talks about his positive view of globalization.

The Bow and Grimace is hopelessly globalized, and we like it that way. We just want everyone else to see it too.

For anyone who enjoyed Thomas Friedman's new book The World is Flat will enjoy this.

Not to mention that he has several articles focusing on China and Taiwan, which are particular interests of ours.

This is a well balanced view of international relations, and the benefits of globalization.

Slowly awakening after a hibernation....

2005-12-30T16:02:00.000+01:00

Voila. Though it's just started snowing in Paris today, we're slowly starting to wake up from our slumber. The last three months of 2005 have brought a lot of stress and frustration to our dear beleaguered Commander-in-Chief.

Yeah, Bush too, but we're talking about Robo.

The Bow and Grimace will be back, but there will probably be a slight change in content. No, actually, the subject matter will stay largely the same, but the focus will be a little different. We can't tell how, that's a surprise.

We're not going to jump right back into the daily rote just yet, though. There's still a lot of things to get done before the end of the first week of January, but we've got some good stories lined up for you, like terrarism (no that is not mispelled), French Cultural Patriotism v. American Awesomeness Patriotism, and the Chinese might be reading Fanfan's mail.

For now, I just read something about Iran. This is a good thought for the beginning of 2006. Those wacky, wacky Germans, what'll they think of next? Potato pancakes? A female Chancellor? Yeah right, that would be like a female, atheist, socialist President in, say, Chile.

Der Spiegel Online : "U.S. Reportedly Planning 2006 Attack on Iran."

Chinese cars, just the quality you expect from China (Crash Test Video)

2005-11-21T11:39:00.000+01:00

First of all, sorry we've been away for some time. There has been much sickness and frustration in Paris, so our beloved Editor has been unable to keep up with the sheer amount of earth-shattering information we have provided.

We come back with news from the great land of China. Once known for discovering gunpowder and inventing paper, the printing press, compasses, etc., etc. hundreds and sometimes thousands of years before people did in the West (or even Middle East), the “Middle Kingdom” is now known for crappy toys that are more fragile than a flower locked in an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus and seem to tumble to pieces as soon as they touch the air outside of the package.

As the LA Times explained today, the Chinese are moving into a new market, or at least moving that market over to the West. This market is, of course, automobiles. With poetic names like Landwind (whatever that means), these cars are bursting to be sold in the West, and I mean that literally. The first crash-test of the Landwind (precursor to the Mountainsnow, and Riverbreeze) scored a big, fat ZERO the day before it was to be presented in a German car show.

When I saw the videos on the news, the German crash test inspector said, "Well, um, I've never seen a worse crash test in my entire career."

I figured I’d present the crash videos here for you guys to see:

From the Inside

From the outisde

Paris Burning....

2005-11-06T23:04:00.000+01:00

Well, I know by now that everyone in the states has heard what's going on here. I just wanted to show to quick shots that I know you won't see on the news.

The first one is right in front of l'Elysée (chez Chirac). In the esplanade des invalides there are four or six large lawns where, as the sign says, it is "playing with balls is strictly prohibited" (ballon suggests, if I'm not mistaken, a ball with air in it, hence soccer ball, football, basketball, etc.). As you can see in the video, the French government has a different take on what "strict" enforcement is.

Some might say this is part of the problem. Too late for a pre-emptive strike, I suppose.

Click the photos to play the videos

I put this video up for the people abroad that are seeing the ruins left by the hooligans who are burning everything. Ignoring the fact that I want to go on a rant about how idiotic it is that these kids are burning their neighbors cars to get back at Sarkozy, I wanted to show you that the news doesn't present the whole picture. People here are still going about their lives.

For now...(dramatic music)

The second video is an observation that Fanfan had. The street in front of my apartment building never has cars on it, especially at night. There aren't even parking spaces! Tonight, all of the streets in my neighborhood are packed with cars. We live in the 16th arrondissement, so we're right on the edge of Paris, before the banlieux (suburbs). I think everyone from the banlieux are moving their cars into Paris (I'm very close to the police station as well) to protect their cars.

Riding the home with Milad

2005-11-03T16:15:00.000+01:00

Iran also handed over documents and granted interviews with several senior officials thought linked to black market purchases of uranium enrichment technology, one diplomat said.

But at the same time, the regime also takes a harsh tone about the West.

On Wednesday, more than 10,000 demonstrators shouted "Death to America" and "Death to Israel" in front of the former U.S. Embassy _ the largest such demonstration in years.

Hard-liners organize protests at the site annually to mark the anniversary of the embassy's seizure on Nov. 4, 1979, by militants who held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. The United States broke relations with Tehran after the takeover, and they have not been restored.

Demonstrators carried a large picture of Ahmadinejad emblazoned with his quote, "Israel must be wiped off the map." They burned U.S. and Israeli flags and effigies of President Bush and Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

"We have to continue our confrontation with the United States and Israel," the hard-line newspaper Jomhuri Eslami said in an editorial.
--Ali Akbar Dareini
Washington Post
November 2, 2005

"If, for whatever reason, the Security Council is unable to redress the grievances of the Palestinian nation, it should at least pass the appropriate resolution to condemn the repeated commission, particularly over recent days, of crimes like the bombardment of Palestinian areas and homes and the massacre of innocent women and children, upon the direct orders of this terrorist regime."
The statement further said that the position of the Islamic Republic of Iran on the situation in the Occupied Territories was clearly expressed by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the 60th session of the U.N. General Assembly, to wit:
"In Palestine, a durable peace will be possible through justice, an end to discrimination and occupation of Palestinian lands, the return of all Palestinian refugees, and the establishment of a democratic Palestinian state with Al-QodsSharif [Jeruselum] as its capital." The Islamic Republic of Iran is committed to its obligations under the United Nations Charter and has never used or threatened to use force against any other state.
"The World Should Fear the US and Irael, not Iran"
Islamic Republic News Agency - Iran
October 29, 2005

Milad looked at me either like he’s wary, amazed, or both.

“Alors,” he said, “Pourquoi t’as quitté ton pays? Tu ne l’aimes pas?” He furrowed his brow.

I told him that I hadn’t become an ex-pat because of some disdain for the US. I had left, if anything, because I felt it was my responsibility. I told him that I wanted to see the entire world, that I want to be everywhere and experience life in all its sorts. It was because of that desire and all that is going on in the world right now, I told him, that I felt like it is my task to go and see the world.

Milad nodded and told me that that was a venerable outlook.

I told him that I hoped it would work out.

The metro arrived and he motioned for me to get on first. We were both silent, waiting for the doors to shut. Once the train started moving, I continued, telling him I have problems with things that go on in my country but that, if I’ve learned anything from my experiences abroad, every country is generous in presenting problems that seem life-threatening.

I stuttered when I told him that I think all countries have serious problems, and I wanted to say that America’s are more serious only because everybody is focused on the US. I was worried, though, that he was going to think I was brushing off the problems between the US and the world as a formality or that I was overestimating other problems around the world.

“T’as raison,” Milad replied before I could continue.

I asked him why he had left Iran, and he smiled and told me that it was the same reason I had: “une fille.” I had already told him about Fanfan and I.

Milad had met his fiancé in Iran while she was visiting relatives, and they had kept in contact with each other. Every time she came back to Iran, they spent time together. She’s French, so he moved here to study law and marry her. He laughed and told me he’s studying law for the same reason I’m studying philosophy, but I clarified that I’m studying philosophy in France for the same reason that he’s studying law here.

“N’est pas?”

“Oui, oui.” He nodded, “D’accord. Donc, tu aurais resté aux Etats-Unis si tu n’est pas venu en France?”

I told him that I would have left anyway, repeating that I want to see the world. The difference is that I would have gone to Asia or somewhere further away like that. The latter was a veiled reference to that fact that I want to go to the middle east, but, for some reason, I didn’t find it prudent to tell him. It wasn’t because I thought he would tell me not to, but because I had this stupid idea that I was trying to suck up to him or something.

“Tehran te manque?” I asked him.

He sighed and said he like France, but of course he misses Tehran. His family and his friends are there. He asked me if I missed my home, and I said the same thing. It’s what makes living abroad the most bitter-sweet thing in the world, I told him, being always inundated with things that are fascinating but at the same time wanting to share it with people that are far away.
The doors of the train shut, and the train started moving. Neither one of us said anything. As the train slowed at the next stop, Milad smiled and said that it was really pleased to have met me. I returned the compliment, which was an understatement.

“Bon weekend,” he said and held out his hand.

I shook his hand, “Toi aussi, à la prochaine.”

Milad got of the metro, and I sat there with a hundred questions about the world that I hadn’t felt it a good idea to ask in the first conversation, but knowing also that the newspaper doesn’t give the full picture. I like to think that he was thinking the same thing.
This was the first of five conversations with Milad, and there has still been no mention of empire, nuclear weapons, Bush, Israel, or Palestine. That’s something that people have to remember.

La vie quotidienne.....Joyeux Halloween.....

2005-10-31T10:58:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Fanfan's friend who saw some musicians playing in the Jardin de Tuilereis we were given a flyer to go see these Italians playing Russian/Eastern European type music (It reminded me of the music from Life is a Miracle).

They didn't speak any French and a little English. They announced all of their songs in Italian, and I, being spiritually Italian, screamed a bunch of random Italian words like "Mi piacce" (I don't know how to spell that, or if it's right) and "Grazie a mille!"

The group was called Gueippecourto.

As a side note, this is the only bar in Paris that I've found that has Duvel. If anyone else in Paris likes Belgian beers, go to this bar (which I don't remember the name of). It's number 6 Rue de Victoria, close to the Hotel de Ville.

I bought these guys CD, so I'll post the songs later. Until then, here are the videos (sorry they're a little dark):

Some sobering facts....

2005-10-28T16:06:00.000+02:00

Click to watch Miniature Earth or We Were Humans

I don't know what the situation in the states is right now, but the word on the rue is that an announcement will be made in about 4 hours concerning a CIA leak investigation.

Regardless of who is indicted or not indicted, the real issue is that there is still a war that a lot of us don't believe in. True, there may be good that comes of it (a democratic Iraq) and no one will ever know if it would have come about otherwise, but the fact is that this war has made Americans less safe, billions of dollars are being poured out, and we have now lost 2,008 soldiers.

I say this again, as I've said before, this is not a partisan issue. Not just for what is happening in now, but for all other battles in the future, we have to realize that war is less and less efective. I'm not saying this because I am a "liberal", I'm saying it because I'm a person. My life is being put in danger by people that have the ability to go to war in my name.

I'm not saying we have to pull out right now. I'm saying we have to tame the people in charge of the "global struggle against violent extremism." We need to be reasonable.

To combat terrorism as we have been doing is like treating a broken arm with pain killers, which is say, sure, it will help some of the problems, but it in the long run it's not so great.

When satires attack.....

2005-10-25T18:47:00.000+02:00

I'll be damned if this isn't interesting...

Whether you're liberal, conservative, or ....oh that's all there is, right?..... you have to admit this is a little bit freaky. It's an article from The Onion that was written before 9-11, at Bush's first inauguration.

Here are some quotes

"During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years."

...

"Bush swore to do 'everything in [his] power' to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers."

...

"Continued Bush: 'John Ashcroft will be invaluable in healing the terrible wedge President Clinton drove between church and state.'"

...

"On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession..."

...

"Turning to the subject of the environment, Bush said he will do whatever it takes to undo the tremendous damage not done by the Clinton Administration to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He assured citizens that he will follow through on his campaign promise to open the 1.5 million acre refuge's coastal plain to oil drilling..."

Talk amongst yourselves....

Democracy on the March!

2005-10-25T17:43:00.000+02:00

Just four days ago, the United States gained more spaces in the World Press Freedom Ranking. The interntaional organization Reporters sans Frontières (known in English as Reporters without Frontiers and in American as Liberal Frogs Bitter About American Awesomeness, or LiFroBitABAA) gave America what it deserved: twenty more spots, taking it from a measely 24 spots to a rocking 44 spots!

Finally, that gives the US of A more spots than:

Benin
Cyprus
Namibia
El Salvador
Cape Verde
France
Australia
South Africa
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Jamaica
Mauritius
South Korea
Japan
Mali
Hong Kong
Spain
Costa Rica
Italy
Macedonia

The B&G doesn't want to discriminate against people from, say, Mali (we're big fans of Rokia Traoré) or Bosnia and Herzegovina (some of us have visited, and you're very nice people), but you know America's wicked coolness deserves more spots than you.

Come on we're America.

We at The B&G have read up on this whole Democracy thing, and we realize that, essentially it came as a result of the spreading of information to the common man as a result of technological advances in printing between the 15th and 18th centuries that made the production of large amounts of written material cheaper and thusly more widespread. We recognize the distinct and inseperable connection between the press and democracy.

For instance, look at the origin of our name. Mr. Joseph Addison is one of the forerunners of modern journalism.

So, congratulations America on a job well done. Keep on moving up that chart. We'll show Denmark how it's done! We'll be that beacon of hope for the rest of the world. Fear not World! Fear not!

Oh crap...wait a minute...something's not right here.

La Vie Quotedienne....

2005-10-24T12:09:00.000+02:00

Okay....I promise we're going to be getting some articles back up here soon. We've been real computer nerds lately, trying to get video up and working on the page.

For now, here's another day and another giant-puppet parade....

Click the videos to play...

We will be back soon to discuss the dynamics of ubiquitous nudity, the philosophy of drinking on the street, and much more......

La vie quotidienne parisienne...Is that a tower in your pants?

2005-10-21T13:34:00.000+02:00

Click photo to play video....

It's something mystifying to many Americans, I think. I remember walking out of the metro in Rome and seeing the Coliseum, unlike any photo I had ever seen, with taxi cabs wizzing by and businessmen walking briskly while talking on cell phones.

Do they not even look at what they're passing by? I think, Do they realize that it's THE coliseum?

Now, here I am in Paris. At the very least, twice a day I pass by the Eiffel Tower, and less and less do I pay attention.

Finally, all of our electrons are in order...

2005-10-20T22:53:00.000+02:00

I'm Posting these videos now, I'll write later. Finally, La Vie Quotidien can get started....

2005-10-19T13:50:00.000+02:00

And, low, the Lord said, "Let there be a server with photos and videos that all may enjoy. Let their minds fill up and overflow with the knowledge they may find therein."

Thank you, Lord.

Herein ends all of the overly sarcastic religious talk.

Dear God, we're sorry......

2005-10-18T20:21:00.000+02:00

Wow....this is a bit embarassing. Just after we published "Dinosaurs Ate My Dogma," almost all of the photos and videos failed.

We would like to apologize for any misconception--we want You to remember we still believe in You--and we would like to kindly ask for our server back....

Thanks and have a wonderful day.

Heart,
The Bow and Grimace

Dinosaurs ate my Dogma: A Disclaimer on Religion

2005-10-18T17:30:00.000+02:00

This is just a little disclaimer to go along with the temporal lobe visions article and the 21st century spontaneous generation article. The disclaimer is that we here at The Bow and Grimace aren't atheists, and we aren't hostile to an idea of God, whether it be Christian, Islamic, or Zoroastrian.

On top of that, we don't believe that science is contrary to religion, which is the point from which most of our sardonic language concerning religion is found. If there is a God that created the universe, then the closest study of Him should be science, and the laws of nature should be our model for religion. It’s easy to see how so many laws of religion correlate with laws of nature (that includes human nature). There is a distinct order/organization of things, and that’s why breaking that harmony by smiting, coveting, etc. is bad.

We are cleary, though, doubters of specific doctrines—such as Christianity, but so were some of Jesus’ disciples and members of his family. Again, keep in mind we are not CONTRE these doctrines, though we may have a specific distaste for the way some people choose to translate the fundamental texts of these denominations.

Here are some important questions:

Either we have the idea of the word "just" completely wrong, or God is not just, no?

How is it just to create a race, to give them the "choice" to follow you, but condemn them to hell for not being your disciples? Is that really a choice? Who would actually choose hell?
Why aren't we all given an equal chance to understand the demands of God in the first place?

Why is it that two people can read the same text and extrapolate two completely different meanings from the texts?

Many would say we just don’t have faith, but can someone be convinced to truly have faith in something he doesn’t believe in? (Which, by the way, is what you believe if you believe if you want to use government to make laws prohibiting things forbidden in your religion).

We also acknowledge that most people don’t even choose their religion. On the other hand, they are born into it. How many Christians really studied other religions before making the rational choice of, “That sounds good. I’ll have that”? Or how many Saudis (in a country where conversion to Christianity, or any other religion, is punishable by death) choose to be Muslim? It is this fact that lead to the quote, “I contend that we are all atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

Those just being the tip of the iceberg, we must also clarify that we are also completely against the idea that religions are bad and/or corrupt. Whether good is done in the name of Jesus, Yahweh, Bono, or chemical chance, it is still good. We believe that the image as presented by the media of religion (all of them) and the people who participate therein is not an accurate portrait. Take for example the Vietnamese soldier Sen. McCain spoke of recently.

We believe in God, but if anything we believe there is truth in almost every religion’s teachings. If one looks at the big picture, they’re not all that different. The point is always the same.

We believe in God, we just don’t know what to call him.

Bill Hicks always sums it up best. Note, however, we're not as bitter as Bill Hicks. In fact, we hope that nobody is as bitter as Bill Hicks. Just listen to his talk about dinosaurs (VERY explicit and offensive, yet funny, content).

A comforting new addition...this is NOT a partisan issue...

2005-10-11T10:55:00.000+02:00

You will see at the right, a handsome new counter that shows, 24 hours a day, the mounting costs of the war in Iraq (part of the "global struggle against the enemies of freedom"). We know there's so many freedom-lovers out there that are going to think that we're just another group of peace junkies out for another hit, but I encourage everyone to go to the National Priorities Project website and see for yourselves. There, one will find a wealth of interactive comparison tools where he/she can see how that money, otherwise spent, could have been used: pre-school, kid's health, public education, college scholarships, public housing, world hunger, AIDS epidemic, and world immunizations. Not to mention, one can see in real time how much money is being spent locally in most cities in the US. Being from one of the poorest states in the US with an education system that annually ranks as one of the worst in the country, our two American correspondants are particularly peeved.

We encourage all of you to check this out. More so, post this code to your site for a counter. Furthermore, if you want, they'll set up an LED sign on the main street of your neighborhood, if you so choose.

We hope that people reading this, don't see this as a partisan issue. This war is a mess. It's disgusting, and it's dangerous. On top of that our military budget is ludicrous. All the peace-junkies and all God's Christian soldiers should do what they can to end this.

Liberty Sandwich: Freedom fries wasn't the first idotic and useless name change the United States has ever had.

2005-10-10T12:56:00.000+02:00

I find this terribly interesting. Many will remember when France refused to support the US invasion of Iraq and the ridiculous name change that ensued, "freedom fries" being the most well known (along with the lesser known freedom doors, freedom kissing, freedom tickler, freedom language, etc.). People seem to think that changing the name of a food is going to detract from the credibility of a movement or a country.

Anyhow, this was not the first time Americans had faught fire with foolishness. During World War I, the American spirit triumphed once again over another more menacing enemy by renaming sauerkraut --> Liberty Cabbage, Hamburger --> Liberty Sandwich, and German measels --> Liberty measles.

I don't mention this just to be cute; I mention it because it illustrates a very interesting phenomenon. I have both my girlfriend and another good Swedish friend of mine on seperate occasions question my use of certain words:

The first was over a year ago, I was speaking with my friend Anna about cinema, and I said, "I love that film." Anna chuckled to herself when I said it. When I asked her why, she said, "I just think it's interesting how much you love everything. In Swedish, we hesitate to say we 'love' something and reserve it only for occassions when the feeling is powerful." I paused. She wasn't being condescending, just mentioning how she felt about it. She then asked, "What do you say when you really love something?"

With that, I found myself at a loss for words, because my answer was, "Well, we just say, I really love that film or person. Then we spend time trying to convince the other person that we mean it."
The other instance was only last week when Fanfan asked me how she can be so sure that I love her if I love everything. I found myself stumbling awkwardly through a French explanation that I really loved her, and that the other things don't compare to her.

In both French and Chinese (as well as Swedish, I believe), the phrase I love you translates to "I like you." If that doesn't show the significance of the word "love," I don't know what does.

If you're wondering what the connection is to our obsession for renaming things by replacing certain words with "freedom" or "liberty," it's because we've denegrated the word by using constantly without any sense of gravity, largely as a consequence of the "Brand America" program. Let's look at the list of everyday words that have had their weight relegated by flippant use:

Evil
Freedom
Liberty
Terrorism
War
Democracy

The list goes on.

The point here is that naming a bird a fish only diminshes the swimming ability of the fish.

A History of History, By Robert Maguire

2005-10-10T12:45:00.000+02:00

Covering the frontier
With pretty straight lines
Splitting open the terrain
With a fence and “no crossing” signs
Color inside the box
And give your people a name
Tell them your color’s fair
And your purpose the same

Old helmets
Propped in painted flower pots
Like lines from a prayer
Sewn into rope and tied into knots
The people sat quiet
Under the gallows at noon
The past swayed calm in the breeze
Singing, “see ya’ soon”

Promises from a souk
With its fingers crossed
Built a kingdom
Every day that it lost
An empire
Of swallowed motivation
For the listless and quiet,
One beautiful nation

A foreign addiction
Is a heroine for all
She feeds the poor
On the floor of a Berlin bathroom stall
Peddler and addict meet
On Dublin’s O’Connell St.
To feed the children
In Mazar-e Sharif

Liberty Enlightening the World
Took a new name
She realized the danger
Of Lady Lazarus’ claims
If the Colossus were to stand
For any certainty
A less proactive tag fits
Like the Statue of Liberty

Give her your tired
And your poor
For we the people
Haven’t the time anymore
And as for huddled masses’
Will to breath free
Give a man the breath
And he’ll stick his chest out for all to see

Times have changed
The winds have turned against US here
Now the tempest-tossed
Press their gale of inalienable fear
There’s smoke on the horizon
Of the dawn’s early light
From sea to shining sea
In the home of the brave, they’re ready to fight

This land is our land
Standing with clinched fists
We the people
Hold our breath for the next hit and miss
We’ve painted the Blue Ridge And the amber ways of grain
We’ve told them what’s fair
And expect the others not to do the same

A nation of refugees
Closed the door behind them
And colored in the frontier
Red, white and blue, with a solid black trim
Gave themselves a name
Called themselves “The Free”
And drew pretty straight lines
As far as the eye can see

Those wacky black people: The Human Development Report released the same time Katrina hits....

2005-10-10T01:12:00.000+02:00

I’m not really happy about this, but I’m going to have to raise a really serious issue here. It was just yesterday that I was steam cleaning my beret and smoking a cigarette (that was a French joke, get it?) when the name Amartya Sen popped into my head. I don’t remember my stream of consciousness, but it went something like --> beret --> cigarette --> smoke --> Katrina --> oh CRAP! American democracy is in flames!

I promise I’m not prone to overreactions like this, but I just can’t shake this itching feeling that something’s very, very wrong. Wait! All of you who are thinking, that’s not anything new, please just wait. To me, this might just be an example of how horribly wrong things are.

The Nobel Prize winning economist Amartya Sen popped into my head because one of the arguments—if not the argument—in his book Development as Freedom, which is essentially that famines don’t happen in democratic countries. Now, I know we don’t have a famine in the US right now, and I’m not saying that we’re not a democracy (that’s a topic for another article). My focus is on Sen’s reason for why democracies don’t experience famines: accountability.

Sen points out how in countries like South Korea, Japan, Singapore, and Botswana over a period of about fifteen years there was an actual decrease in food production—a 58 percent decrease in the case of Singapore—yet there was no visible sign of increased hunger within those countries over that time. Next, he describes both Sudan and Burkina Faso’s increase in food production—a 29.4 percent increase for the latter—while both countries experienced significant mounting of hunger within their populations (176). A couple of pages later in another similar example he says, “Had the governments [of these countries] not failed to undertake timely action, they would have been under severe criticism and pressure from the opposition and would have gotten plenty of flak from newspapers” (179)

I hope this is becoming a little bit clearer. The key to efficient government—one which is constantly pressured in order to meet the needs of it’s population—is accountability. Yet, fast-forward about a month after Katrina—you know that disaster where the dispossessed pony judge blew his second chance and, seemingly, Bush’s mandate for putting his buddies in positions that aren’t “Ambassador to Monaco”—and Bush goes and nominates Harriet Miers. In spite of this, many people still consider criticism of governement policies to be "anti-American."

Let me clarify one point, people are going to think I'm exaggerating, and I'm not. I honestly believe that if we let our officials continue to wiggle-waggle all the time without being accountable, we will be in trouble. I don't think a lot of Americans realize just how much the outside world is watching, but they are. The Katrina coverage here in Europe was extensive. I heard an English reporter and a Dutch reporter both questioning, "How can this happen in the United States?" I saw images on the nightly news in France of hords of blacks living on a debris strewn stretch of highway, and the reporter said, "You see these images, and not knowing it's America, you would think it's Liberia."

When I thought about Sen the first time, I put down my beret and did a google search "Amartya Sen Katrina," and I'll be damned if I didn't find an article by Nobel laureate Joseph Stiglitz, author of Globalization and Its Discontents. He said:

The world has been horrified at America’s response to Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath in New Orleans. Four years after the terrorist attacks of September 2001, and with billions of dollars allegedly spent on “preparedness” for another emergency, America has shown the world that it was not prepared—even for an event that came with ample warning.

The difference between the tsunami in Asia last December and what is coming to be called the black tsunami in America—because it brought so much devastation to the poor, mostly black, people of Louisiana—is striking. The Asian disaster showed the ability of those affected to overcome long-standing rifts, as Aceh rebels put down their arms in common cause with the rest of Indonesia. By contrast, the disaster in New Orleans—and elsewhere along America’s Gulf Coast—exposed and aggravated such rifts.

...

I was in Thailand right after the tsunami, and I saw that country’s impressive response. The Thais flew consular and embassy officials to the affected areas, aware of the sense of helplessness among those stranded far from home. America kept foreign officials from coming to the aid of their nationals in New Orleans—embarrassed, perhaps, at what they would see.

America loses all credibility in the world when it doesn't practice what it preaches.

Here lies, dying, the poor, measly point of this article. Americans have to demand accountability from our government officials, because there is nothing to keep us from suffering the same fate as any other third world country…speaking of third world countries, did you know that in 1990 a black man in Harlem had less of a chance of living past 40 than men in Bangladesh? It’s true. More so, did you know that, ominously, the time that Katrina hit, the UN released it’s Human Development Report, in which the difference between races in the

United States

was one of the highlights, if that’s what you can call it? America ranks 10th on the HDR.

I hope more people are starting to see that this can be helped, and should be. As one analysis of Sen's work in regards to Katrina puts it:

However, contra Sen’s caution, his remarks are celebrated as proof from authority that liberal democracy can prevent all disasters. In extremis, the argument is even heard that a free press and an informed citizenry make technical early warning systems redundant. Transferred to the economic sphere, international assistance analysts have investigated how a private insurance market could supplement and even supplant state provision of famine relief and other emergency logistics. The default option becomes blithely optimistic neglect. What need for mass evacuation plans when most people have cars, can buy bus tickets, and are kept informed by commercial television news?

I’ll finish this rant here, but I'm going to give y'all some delicious links before I go:

The UN Human Developement Report

The World's report on the HDR

A terribly interesting flash program of the HDR results for all you ADHD people like me

Revelation for the day....to be expounded on later...

2005-10-06T22:10:00.000+02:00

Have you ever wondered why people having near death experiences never see anything but "the light?"

In all of our prelimenary searches, we've found no accounts of biforcated tongues, fire, cold coffee, or even wet blankets. All accounts point to out-of-body experiences, bright lights, etc.

What's the importance of the question? (this isn't another question, it's just a rhetorical question so that we can explain why it's important) Well, the significance is that, if the light is heaven or purgatory or some other spiritual place, then that would mean that we are all going to heaven? If it's not spiritual, it has something to do with the temporal lobe in the brain.

We're not saying it does. We're just saying it might. We're not scientists, just amateurs.

Also, we're definitely not saying that the temporal lobe epilepsy might also explain religious encounters with God or giving birth to Jesus (this is not a reference to Mary, for, low, there were no gumshoes in the stable).

Pat Robertson's dinner prayer

2005-10-06T08:02:00.000+02:00

Dear Lord, it's Pat. Thank you for this delicious dinner shake, moreover, thank you for the funds. Let it nourish my body and make me a good shephe...disciple [clears throat] for you.

Lord, I'm really sorry that I mislead that body-builder, and I promise I'll give him all the free shakes he wants if You get him to terminate the lawsuit. If not, could you help me convince him to assasinate Hugo Chavez?

Thanks so much...um....okay, talk to you later.

Heart,
Pat

Breaking News: Paris was quite agreable at Sunset

2005-10-04T20:18:00.000+02:00

Sunday evening in Paris, the chilling drizzle ended. A Taiwanese girl and an American boy sat on a bench on the upper-level terrace of the Centre George Pompidou, waiting. Inside, someone looked closesly at a Dali and a group waited nervously for a small, metal scultpure of a man sitting motionless to jerk forward and sound the bell. Everyone would jump and laugh awkwardly once it happened.

The American boy was hungry, and he asked the Taiwanese girl what they were going to eat for dinner. She said they had steak, and he almost exploded with elation.

"Je veux steak, epinards, fromage avec baguette," he said, and she smiled. "Et pommes de terre."

"Comme tu veux, monsieur," she said.

"Et chocolat," he added.

A cold breeze gave the American boy chills, and the Taiwanese girl rubbed his arms up and down to warm him up. He wished he had worn a jacket and not just his plain old, forest-green shirt that made him look like a lumberjack.

What would a lumber-jack be doing at a modern art museum anyway?

The American asked the Taiwanese girl if they had time for him to take pictures. She said, "oui." The walked out on the platform and he made a joke about her being scared of heights. She glared at him and wandered down to the end of the platform while he took these pictures:

Then, the girl came back, and the American boy said, "J'ai pris des bons photos, ma petite." She smirked at his mock-ego.

They stood and looked at the sun, which sent streams of light from behind the clouds like water that sprays from a dam that was slowly breaking down.

The American boy took another picture, and the Taiwanese girl rolled her eyes, letting the boy know that pictures are great but if you keep taking them you're not going to be able to appreciate what you're taking pictures of. The American boy put the camera back in his bag, but he still wanted to take pictures.

The left after a couple of hours. They didn't say anything about wars or countries or race, like they were used to. The American boy said, "Je veux un grand steak," realizing he didn't know how to say steak in French.

She understood, though.

“The Day No Days Fit,” By Robert Maguire

2005-10-04T19:00:00.000+02:00

Found,
The incredible Hyde
In a red light District
Somewhere in Neverland

Bought two pairs of Sex
with a pogo stick

Met an angel
Who had bad reception
Just south
A faulty halo,
I believe,
Prayed for a new Messenger,
Amen,
With a new message

White knuckled Reluctantly fell
Unconscious
Briefly Dreamt about precision
Was forced
To run naked
In the street that morning
Because
Tintin Smelt a rat
Slid on ice
In a snow storm
In January
Being lost somewhere Near November IV
And saw D.E.A.T.H.
In the post office
Of a boot
Looked around
Regarded La dolce vita
Over a cup
Of espresso

Learned how to Speak
With my hands
Became quite evident
That words most order often
Not do be to need
Correct
To be understood
Unless you’re
Wearing a blindfold

Language is much more
A movement
Than a sound

Saw nothing but darkness
Under the City of Lights
And no one seemed to care

Discovered The satisfaction
In disproving
A stereotype
Laid down in the park
and watched them explode
like fireworks
making luminous willow tree branches
the light reflecting from eyes
of those who were,
until recently,
completely unknown to me
Woke up inside
a thirty year old morning
that had yellowed
like a dusty photograph
from a newspaper clipping
found in a box in the attic
that’s new
to whoever discovers it

stopped time
on the edge of the earth
looking back at the shadows
of the midnattssol
feeling the chill
of a Scandinavian summer

it all comes at once,
now,
from sliding on marble streets
in the stalking rain
to the reign of self
lost

to an Alchemist
coaxing with jazz
and vodka
the unsuspecting youth
and leaving them
to a trumpeter in the square
like the one near the ghost
at another time
and another place
balancing over the pavement
consumed by restful people in speeding cars

the fatigue
the hunger
for everything at once
the creation
the destruction
the inexpressible,
all-consuming passion
that curls ones toes in his shoes
that sends shivers
that are almost painful
the wanting to burst
into pieces
for want of showing some immense appreciation
some absurd self-sacrifice
for that one moment
the one where we sat
and felt truly comfortable

Nothing changes
Though,
Saint Mark
Still Keeps watch over

The pigeons
Who rob The jesters
The speed remains

the tracks still echo
with the thunder
of the profound weight and purpose
that he had when standing
above the ocean
with no one else for miles
he screamed
with all he had
“I am!
I am!
Let me show you!”
Only because he thought
There must be a reason
That today is the day no days would fit.

Intelligent Design: Spontaneous Generation for the Twenty-First Century

2005-10-04T15:15:00.000+02:00

From the scientific powerhouse that brought us spontaneous generation (abiogenesis) and geocentric astronomy, religion has brought us the novel and revolutionary doctrine of intelligent design. After years of scientists ruling scientific research with an iron fist, God’s faithful have revolted and taken back what they believe was rightfully theirs: science.

I’m not going to go too deep into this, (1) for fear of getting caught repeating some of the clichéd criticisms of Intelligent Design—which is not to imply that Intelligent Design merits profound analysis (or even capital letters)—and (2) because I think evolution if trivial—I don’t care if we came from monkeys; we’re here now and we’ve got enough problems in the present to be worried about prehistory.

I must preface this by saying that I don’t oppose IntelDessin for any atheistic or agnostic reasons.

I believe in a God for exactly the same reason that IntelDessinists (Dessin being French for a sketch or drawing) believe that their concept should be taught in schools: that is the “first cause.” I personally can’t understand how something can come from nothing, so I believe that there is a higher creator.

I don’t, however, buy the other argument by IntelDessinists that the universe is too complex to just happen. I feel like that’s what one fruit fly said to the other in the laboratory, which is to say, (1) our time is so short on earth compared to the universe and (2) we are minuscule compared to the universe, so of course it seems huge and complex. Many people tend to look at the universe as follows:

1) The universe is remarkably complex

2) The possibilities that this system could happen by chance are like

a) a monkey with a type-writer accidentally writing Othello

b) a tornado building the Eiffel Tower

c) any other highly improbable (that’s to say “impossible”) scenario

However, I feel that it should be looked at as follows:

1) In the beginning there was a mass

2) Before that mass exploded, the possibilities were almost infinite

3) Each possibility as to what the result may be was infinitely improbable

4) The one that resulted was improbable, but not unlike the unlikelihood that every leaf has when it falls from a tree to settle in the spot that it does.

That said, I would like to present some simple, clear-cut reasons why IntelDessin should not be taught in science classes:

- There is no scientific debate around the world about IntelDessin, which is to say, if it was significant scientifically, then there would be talk in the international scientific community about it. Well, okay, so there’s talk, but it’s mostly, “Hey, have you heard what the Americans are thinking about teaching in their science classes?” More still, there are, I admit, some groups in the UK and Australia, trying to get intelligent design taught in schools, but they are unabashed creationists (unlike in the states, they try to mask it as science).

- I can meet the watchmaker. The idea I’ve already mentioned of the “first cause” is often explained using the analogy of the watchmaker. This analogy says:

§ A watch is complex

§ I don’t know who made the watch

§ But I believe there is a watchmaker

The flaw with this analogy is that, well, if you really wanted to you could meet the watchmaker, though you may not be able to talk to him or her (my guess is that he or she is in a factory in Korea or China). Contrarily, you cannot meet God (in a strict, empirical fashion).

- Where’s the Intelligent Falling argument? If we start teaching IntelDessin, we’re going to have to teach (1) that a higher being guides electrons as they circle neutrons and protons (2) that a greater power sucks material into black holes (3) that gravity is no more than the Intelligent Designer’s finger on our heads (4) etc. (5) etc. Because, while gravity and atomic structure are theories just like evolution, they are considered fact.

Here’s a scenario for how intelligent design should be taught in school:

A teacher finishes a lesson on evolution (which normally takes, what? One or two days?), and a student raises his hand.

The teacher calls on the student.

“I believe that there is a higher force that created the world and the universe. I think that he created humans and guides evolution,” says the student.
The teacher nods, “and?”

The student is quiet.

“That’s not the concern of evolution,” adds the teacher. “Evolution mentions nothing of how the world began. It only tries to decipher what happened afterwards.”

“Oh.”

Creationism—that’s what IntelDessin is—and atheism—that’s not what science is—are debates for everyone to have outside of science class.

Links:

Go to onegoodmove to hear several interviews with Richard Dawkins, especially here (scroll to Sept. 18).

Pro-IntelDessin website

The National Academy of Sciences (United States) resources on evolution

The Tea bag Divisions: A Ten Minute Play by William R. Cathcart

2005-10-04T11:04:00.000+02:00

(It takes place an a stage with a doctor in a white coat sitting in a rolling chair with a folder on a long horizontal desk in front of him. The desk will latter be turned up right for the judge to sit in behind in a bar stool. The patient is in his mid-twenties to early forties, he sits in a stationary chair. The play begins in mid conversation.)

Eliot (a patient): …and then, the other day- my dog was struck by lightening.

Dr. Hulme: Ohh, come now such things aren’t impossible.

Eliot (a patient): It was through the window.

Dr. Hulme: Was it open.

Eliot (a patient): Yes?

Dr. Hulme: What was your dog’s name?

Eliot (a patient): Navy. A window Dr. Hulme, a window, not a skylight or even a door- and the thing is, I think it was a mistake, that it was supposed to be me.

Dr. Hulme: A mistake, interesting. He was a good dog? (Eliot nods affirmatively and the Doctor pauses in a sudden and peculiar manner, staring distantly off in space. Then his gaze returns just as sudden. His voice serious and louder) Have you tried religion?

Eliot: Not really.

Dr. Hulme: Perhaps we should assign a higher power to your misgivings.

Eliot: A higher power?

Dr. Hulme: Yes, any will due- Do you enjoy warm tea? We’ve a great response lately to Taoism- And of course Zoroastrianism- Wait, Charles have you checked your Randometer?

Eliot: Not today.

Dr. Hulme: (He grabs Eliot’s wrist looking at his watch, pressing it’s buttons with his thumb) Ahh, see here, you had a nice little streak going in the early nineties, looks like you’ve been paying for that lately, but your due here for some eventual luck.

Eliot: When do you think that might be.

Dr. Hulme: There’s really know way to be sure. But... (he picks up a chart and manila folder and speaks while flipping through it)… going by this chart mailed to me by an anonymous- government- agency (he says this bobbing his head in a sing song voice like he’s said it a million time and like the patient knows what he’s talking about, and he then winks)… who’ve supposedly compromised God, that is after he was re-resurrected at the close of the post-modernism era- I’d say mid July.

Eliot: Mid July? (He looks confused) How exactly did they compromise him?

Dr. Hulme: It’s actually We, now to be secularly correct, not him, the United States Government won a very complicated kind of class action suit against God, which they filed back in the eighties. They sued We for being falsely monotheistic on grounds of the Trinity. It was real ugly, even got the pope to testify. They were gonna go after him on the whole Free Will dilemma, until they were discouraged by a series of minor earthquakes.

Eliot: You said Mid- July, Well What month is it now.

Dr. Hulme: Ahahh you’re having memory problems. (He reaches over and taps Eliot on the temple)

Eliot: Ouch

Dr. Hulme: Hmmm, (then shouting) Nurse, this man needs enema immediately and after that, a cat scan. (Two nurses male or female roll a stretcher in, grab him by him arms throw him face first onto the stretcher and tie down his arms, he is too confused to physically resist, but does so vocally,)

Eliot: (Shouting as they Roll him off) Dr. Hulme, please, tell me the month.

Dr. Hulme: (Shouting to Eliot being rolled off stage) Do I look like a calendar to you. (He then mumbles to himself as he takes off his white coat) Good question, good question. ( He is wearing a black tee shirt with the word October written across the front. He pulls a black robe and a grey wig out from under the desk and puts them on. Then he turns the desk upright pulls over a bar stool sits in the very high chair behind the desk and pulls out a gavel. Elliot is rushed back onto the stage and left in front of the judge, still tied down to the stretcher, on his stomach, his rear in angled slightly upward. He says nothing, there is an agreeable look on his face. The nurse approaches the bench)

Nurse: We’ve given him a 30ml dose of compliance, your honor, you have fifteen seconds.

Judge: Well done Ebert. (He says affectionately, then addresses Eliot judiciously.) What brings you to this courtroom, son.?

Eliot: I am here for enema, your honor.

Judge: Of course and so be it. Charles Pining Eliot you are sentenced to nine seconds of thoughtless silence.

Eliot: Precisely

Judge: 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Eliot: (Eliot looks around panicked) What time is it- Who am I.

Judge: Mr. Eliot you’ve just been received by psychological enema, do you have anything thing to say to your self.

Eliot: What?

Judge: Precisely. Your conscious self was just slaughtered for seven seconds

Eliot: Then why?

Judge: Because you were received by enema Mr. Eliot.

Eliot: Enema?

Judge: Yes, the eradication of the negligent erroneous mind association, the e.n.e.m.a. We had reason to believe that you weren’t keeping time Mr. Eliot, you were convicted on several counts of second person chronological negligence. (In a louder investigative tone) Mr. Eliot, what do you know about the year 1978, and the question why?

Eliot: Nothing your honor, I know nothing about that or anything else that is going on.

Judge: Mr. Eliot if you can not find it within your self to cooperate, this court will hold you to further contentment. 1978 and why just keep popping through your head, for absolutely no distinguishable reason, no TV commercial, catchy song, relevant birth date or definitive worldly disaster. Our mind police are working around the clock.

Eliot: Mind police? (a man and women dressed in black suits holding files and wearing sunglass walk from either side of the stage and stand next to the judge.)

Judge: We think it might be the answer to advertising, possibly even hair loss, obesity, and why suction cups fall off windows at unpredictable times, one random digit which always occurs in the mind.

Eliot: Wait, it was the year I lost my virginity, yes 1978, that was the year ha, haha haha.

Judge: (leaning down) To any sort of maternal figure?

Eliot: (emphatic) No.

Judge: Nonsense. (He turns to the female agent on his right) Officer Castration, what do have on Eliot’s virginity.

Officer Castration: Your Honor, we’ve checked our files, it appears that he never had virginity, nor is there any actual record of Mr. Eliot’s existence.

Judge: (to Officer Castration) Remarkable, call 1938- tell the Frenchmen he is correct. (He turns to Eliot.) I’m afraid there has been some sort of mistake. (He takes his wig off and climbs down.)

Eliot: What’s wrong, I don’t understand the problem Please tell me what is happening. (The doctor turns to him as he buttons his white coat.)

Dr. Hulme: Your subsistence Mr. Eliot. (The pulpit falls behind him back to its position as a desk; the female agent walks off stage. The doctor walks away from Eliot and sits down where he was at the beginning. Eliot turns to the audience and looks at them for three seconds as though they are a mirror. He looks back to the doctor with no idea what to expect. The doctor begins again in mid sentence just as the play began.) …accompanied with severe headaches and cold sweats. Tell me more about these visions, Mr. Elliot, are they discernable from reality?