Saturday, February 11, 2006

T BAG Hypo PubS: The Bow A Grimace Hypothetical Public Service Announcements

We are starting a series of public service announcements we would put on billboards and television if we had the money to do so. It's called "T BAG Hypo PubS."

The first one is, to keep our theme for the day, to end the Intelligent Design debate:

[SCENE: Students sitting in a classroom. The camera is moving down the center aisle towards the teacher who is standing in front of a chalkboard littered with terms and sketches. What she is saying gradual becomes audible. As the teacher is speaking, the camera gradually circles the teacher until it is behind her head as she finishes the line. The view is the whole class before the teacher]

Teacher: And that concludes are day-long discussion of evolution. Tomorrow, we will begin our month long session on all of the systems of the body: circulation, endocrine, etc. Any questions?

[One student in front of the teacher raises his hand.]

Teacher: Timmy.

Timmy: For the test, if we believe God created the world, are you going to count off if we put that? You know, if we don't believe in evolution.

Teacher: First of all, evolution doesn't attempt to explain who or what created the world, only what happened from there.


Teacher: Any more questions?

[Screen goes black. The word EVOLUTION appears on the screen in white letters.]

Narrator (Morgan Freeman, preferably): Evolution. It's only a debate in the US.

[The narrator's (Clint Eastwood would be good too) words appear on the screen as he's saying them. Then, cut back to the classroom]

Teacher: Chang, what are you doing back there?

Chang: (nervously) Oh, I'm sorry. While you were both talking about God during biology, I started sketching a new idea I had for a computer processor using nanotubes instead of silicon chips. I'm sorry for not paying attention.

Teacher: That's okay, Chang.

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