Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ruminations about Osama's newest hit video...

As we are not in the US, we cannot say with any certainty what the coverage is like over the most recent bin Laden tape. This will not stop us from making several assumptions based on the predictability of all sadists/masochists who are in charge of either conveying the news or making decisions based on what is happening in the Bin Laden Land.

  • The liberals will shake their heads and brandish their disdain with the wag of a finger, "Tisk, tisk, tisk, republicans, conservatives." They will make certain that the Republicans know that this is all their fault: Republican war-mongering, republican big-business hugs and kisses, etc.
  • Then, the blind-unquestioning-patriotism-first-reason-second group (having missed the initial report because they were watching Access Hollywood reruns) will run with clenched fists to the Patriot cave to get supplies: flag to drape over children, flag with mini-pole to stick in the bed of their F-150 so that terrorists won't attack while they are driving to KFC (for extra measure, they'll put in a Toby Keith CD and play it really loud), a pistol, duck-tape, and a Bill O' Reilly autographed Bible.
  • As for old Bill himself and his clones, this will certainly be fuel for one of several soap-box office rants (you know, to keep the kids at home entertained): (1) this is more reason why the peaceniks and pinheads need to shut up about the war because the enemy's still out there, (2) Bush needs to keep spying on Americans because these guys are still in the US, (3) remember what I told all you homos in San Francisco...
  • As for the media in general, we're quite certain that a number of reporters and network execs have spent the day in an almost sexual frenzy. This is good for business, you know, the more scared Americans are, the more they depend on us to show them any number of "experts" and "officials" who repeat the mantra, "Well, we're not exactly sure where, when, how..." because even though "I don't know" isn't news, it's still comforting for every American to know that he's not the only one.
  • Then, the millions of other Americans who are too busy, too apathetic, too intelligent to pay attention to Hannity and Colmes, or too prudent to immediately judge this as one thing or another, they will go about their lives. Those people do exist.
So, the question remains, what should be done? Unfortunately, we here at the B&G are in no position to be counselling people on how to go about their daily lives. However, assuming all of us together are at least equally qualified as Ann Coulter, we will give it a shot:
  • Immediately discredit anything said by someone with a political agenda. This covers everyone from Michael Moore to Rush Limbaugh. Look at their sources, if they give them, but don't listen to their analysis. We're all big boys and girls, we can make our own descisions.
  • Get all news from several sources. This limits the amount of "spin."
  • Read up on your Plato (start with the Gorgias), start thinking about a teleological approach to these problems. Not just what's good right now, but perhaps what's good in the long run. This also applies to all the "cookery" of guys like Colmes, Carlson, Coulters, etc.
  • Consider learning another language and travelling to places other than Europe. If you have (and you enjoyed), consider convincing others to do the same. We'd even encourage you to perhaps talk to people who live in the places you visit. Pretty buildings are great, but they don't really offer much insight on our current state of affairs. (NOTE: We're not patronizing you, we're being serious. It happens all to often that we ask people just home from vacation, "and what were the people like," to which, nine times out of ten, the answer is, "Oh, we didn't talk much to them.")
These are just some hints from people who have no standing to be giving hints. We, for starters, have never been asked to say that on TV (not even public radio, for that matter). Take it all with a grain of salt.


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